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Future DIL - advice please.

(51 Posts)

I am really happy for my son as he has found 'the one' as he says! I was not ecstatic about how the relationship came about but as I have gotten to know his partner, who he now lives with, I have become very fond of her and find her great company, most importantly she loves my son deeply. We have begun to spend time now with her parents on a regular basis. A couple of weeks ago my son told us we are going to be grandparents too - after the shock (Im only 41!) we are becoming quite excited about it all. grin

I have read many, many threads on here about disasterous MIL/DIL relationships and have had a nasty MIL in my distant past. I want future DIL to feel welcome and accepted into our family, considering our bumpy start, and have been considering ways of making her feel welcome. I don't want to overstep the mark and create any friction within their relationship and my son is not attached to my apron strings (apart from asking for a dish of his favourite meal to be dropped in occasionally)! I realise that I will not be as involved with the pregnancy as if it were one of my daughters but I would like to do something to support her along the way and to feel a part of this exciting event...I considered making a hamper of pamper things for her or maybe taking her shopping but I know her time is short as she works long days. I also realise that sometimes I run away with myself through excitement and that others don't always share the same intensity of excitement with me! blush

So, any tips, suggestions, words of advice, even a faux pas to avoid? smile

Raindrops12 Fri 04-Oct-13 20:55:41

Wow your dil is very lucky to have you. You sound lovely.

My mil didnt ask us what we needed in fact she wasted her money as she bought what she thought the baby needed-it was awkward.

She never communicated with me, only to DH. She started collecting second hand items that we didn't need. I have nothing against second hand I just felt that it was up to DH and me to go out and purchase any second hand items.

A bit of advice don't grab her stomach and start calling her baby 'your baby' wow I remember feeling very hormonal and telling my mil that the baby was not hers.

So really I would ask if they need anything, always listen, offer help and be there for your dil and ds. Which I think you would do anyway as you sound very thoughtful.

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