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"D"h on flirt/affair websites

(34 Posts)
stfbh Fri 13-Sep-13 03:50:48

I found out a few hours ago, he said he had deregistered from his chat app and email account and had just been talking to people. I got into his email and it's all flirt/sexy chat stuff. Apparently he realised it was wrong and didn't do anything hmm just signed up to the sites.

I want to throw him out, I'm so angry. He lied and denied until I got into his email account. Says he thought about doing stuff then realised he was wrong. Like I can believe that when he lied about the chat app and email account! Apparently he didn't want me to find out as he hadn't gone any further and had stopped... also admitted he didn't want to be found out. I told him it's cheating as far as I'm concerned. This is it, isn't it?

NandH Fri 13-Sep-13 18:37:14

Can't, I don't have friends anymore, I don't have old friends my phone numbers, I'm not on social networking sites and my family told me to basically lump it because I made the decision to move away, fair enough smile

I just hope telling my story to women like you who are going through the very similar first stages of utter Crap that I did helps you to see there's not always light at the end of the tunnel if you decide to stay with the man that causes you this hurt/grief/pain/upset.

MissStrawberry Fri 13-Sep-13 18:53:04

Not fair enough at all but she is no friend to you. Are you seriously saying you are going to waste your life with this twat because you made a wrong decision (even if made in good faith)?

Get the hell out. You can get help to move and get your own place, surely.

MissStrawberry Fri 13-Sep-13 18:53:37

FFS it is your family who said that sadangry.

stfbh Fri 13-Sep-13 19:51:32

shock that your family won't help. What do you need to move? Or can you get him to leave?

Ezio Fri 13-Sep-13 19:58:26

NandH, its better to be alone in a cesspit full of shit, than with a man who gave you HERPES.

Seriously, leave the dirty bastard, before he gives you something worse.

And do you know what has made so fucking angry for you.

Herpes can kill newborn babies.

NandH Sat 14-Sep-13 06:36:29

Missstrawberry, its probably also because this is my second massively screwed up relationship aswell.

Stfbh, I have no money of my own, I'm a sahm, I had the money to move dc's and set again I would have. I just don't want you being spun a few lines like 'I'm so sorry it won't happen again', they are not sorry, they grovel for a week then start it all up again, in my case he went onto physically cheating. The online stuff is enough to completely lose trust in your dh, if you do stay with him put your guard up and keep your eyes peeled smile I honestly think once they know they've gotten away with it once they will do it again. Sorry for hijacking, didn't mean too.thanks

MissStrawberry Sat 14-Sep-13 07:50:22

NandH - and? Many of us have more than 2 failed relationship!! There isn't a limit and there is no law to stay you have to stay with someone who abuses you because you already left someone else!

You get ONE life. Do not waste it with this twat and remember what you live is what your children learn.

stfbh Sat 14-Sep-13 14:41:30

NandH I'm not sure what help there is, I've seen a really good post by Olgaga with details for contacts and financial assistance when splitting, not sure if anyone can find it and post?

Dropped DD off at mum's last night and he sat reading the nursery information from our visit this week. Thought he was doing his ostrich impression but he apologised and reiterated that it was stupid, he was an idiot and hadn't gone further than looking at people.

I told him that he couldn't expect me to believe that and it couldn't be proven either way. He agreed to give me access to everything but I told him that as far as I was concerned, I just haven't decided when it would be best for him to leave. So he said what was the point in me looking and my response was that I wanted to know.

His phone records are clean, checked it all including unbilled stuff up to a few days ago. Basically, everything supports his story. But I'm well aware that there might be things I haven't found.

It's exhausting, I feel like crying and screaming at him. I didn't shout but made my feelings clear.

NandH I'm worried if he stays that he'll do it again, why not if there are no consequences? Basic decency should be enough but obviously not. This is a bad time too, busy with work, DD's birthday and I've got an important exam to take. I need him out though, so I can clear my head. DD is a complete Daddy's girl so it will be difficult, she won't be happy.

FrancescaBell Sat 14-Sep-13 22:14:52

Sorry, but I think he will always resort to these quick fixes when he 'feels a bit down'. When a man's actually looking to be unfaithful, he really isn't worth a light.

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