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Please come and help me to stop mooning over this totally inappropriate man

(39 Posts)
sillysillySILLYgirl Tue 10-Sep-13 13:18:02

I am a silly silly girl.

I've been single for two years following a horrible marriage breakdown. And I love it. I've had a few dalliances with men, some one night stands and its great, not looking for a relationship at all, or so I thought.

Enter (we'll call him Mark). Mark who is at least 9 years younger than me (early twenties), who floored this independent happily single woman from the first second I saw him, Mark who looks like something that just walked out of GQ magazine, Mark who doesn't text from one week to the next but who is so good in bed you may as well discount any other sex you ever will or have had. And i'm not exaggerating. But he is a dick. A complete dick. But the sex, I honestly didn't know sex could be so...just wow. So we have a few tumultuous months of heavy sex mixed in with him disappearing/not calling/not turning up to dates and then turning back up for another wild week. Mark who managed to convince me that it was fun not being exclusive with each other and "who actually needs a relationship?" And I went along with it hmm. I'm not joking, I turned into a silly little girl waiting for a man to call and bless her with his cock.

Until the day he finally doesn't turn up for good and texts to say he's met someone he's fallen in love with and didn't we have such a good time and he hopes we can be friends.

And months go by and I felt like someone had taken my favorite xmas present away and I sulked and sulked and my friends constantly had hmm that look on their faces.

This is NOT ME. I have a career, a really good one! I manage a house and children and I sit on committees for gods sake! And i'm sat around sulking in my PJ's.

And then yesterday 4 months after I last saw or heard from him....yesterday I come out of work and hear a wolf whistle over the carpark...and there he was. In all his glorious, sexy, big cock, shag me now lent against my car self. And what did I do? Did I flip him the bird and stalk off? Did I come out with some sassy comeback and drive off with some strong woman music blasting out of my car?

Nope...my legs turned to jelly, I actually fucking SIMPERED and an hour later we are having sex at his house. He's newly single and the girlfriend didn't work out and I actually drove home from his shouting 'you stupid stupid stupid GIRL' at myself. The best bit is after the sex, when he says "oh I changed my number and cant remember it but i'll drop it into you soon yeah" angry hmm.

Why why why has this man got such a hold on me. Shake me or something and shout at me to tell him to do one. THIS is only ever going one way and I know that...so why the hell can't I just tell him im not interested?

Chubfuddler Tue 10-Sep-13 16:55:24

TBH as long as you are not actually being hurt by this carry on. As a fucking partner he sounds marvellous.

Does he have a brother?

sillysillySILLYgirl Tue 10-Sep-13 17:54:08

I honestly have no idea if he has a brother, he gives NOTHING away about himself. I could probably tell you his name, age, job and what car he drives. And address and penis size.

That's all, he's very elusive.

Johnny5needsinput Tue 10-Sep-13 18:01:02

I have one of these. YEARS younger than me but sex on legs. I am just broken up with not-so DP and you've MADE ME THINK LUSTFUL THOUGHTS.

Not been in touch with him for years but I know if he was in the car park tomorrow as I came out of work.....

blush envy

KellyHopter Tue 10-Sep-13 18:03:26

I think
A) nothing wrong with mutually enjoyable sex that isn't leading anywhere else
But
B) it would make me feel utterly wretched to have sex with a person who didn't actually like me. "oh I changed my number and cant remember it but i'll drop it into you soon yeah" hmm

Wouldn't care what the frig he looked like.

KellyHopter Tue 10-Sep-13 18:04:24

Oh god is this going to turn into another licky boss weirdo wank fest?

Chubfuddler Tue 10-Sep-13 18:05:22

Licky boss?

KellyHopter Tue 10-Sep-13 18:07:15

Cheesy romcom for thickos style thread about a boss op wanted to lick.

sillysillySILLYgirl Tue 10-Sep-13 18:09:27

Kelly...you've just hit on the very vague feeling I had in the back of my head. I don't think he particularly like "me", he likes the physical "me".

I can't really remember him ever showing an interest in "me" beyond a vague how was your week, what did you get up to. And he doesn't talk about himself. So it's just sex really.

KellyHopter Tue 10-Sep-13 18:09:50

Turned out to be a troll, much to the disappointment of the bored and dull who were apparently spontaneously jizzing all over the place from the mere mention of the entirely made up lickable boss.

Not Mns finest hour.

Nothing wrong with a bit of drool now and then! I'm not dead yet wink

TalkativeJim Tue 10-Sep-13 22:00:14

OP he sounds VERY dull.

All this grinning and lolling over cars.

Does he read? Does he debate? Can he shoot, swim, fish?

No, he just lolls around in car parks, grinning and then having sex - yet again.

LTB.

UterusUterusGhali Tue 10-Sep-13 22:22:18

It's probably best if you know nothing about him. And if he is dull as dish water. (Or ditch water? I dunno.)

What would be worse is if you had a fuck buddy who turned out to be funny and kind and interesting and intelligent, and you found yourself wanting to spend time with him not fucking, although falling for him would be entirely inappropriate.
(Not that that's happened to me. Oh no. Not at all.)

"when your old and wrinkly you can look back with a huge smile!"

You see I am old and wrinkly and I deeply regret some of the stupid situations I found myself in when my brain was in my undies.

Now what gets me excited is when new buds appear on my rosebushes. A toad moved into my backyard the other day and I was overjoyed. It makes a refreshing change, I can tell you.

FloraFoxley Tue 10-Sep-13 22:58:37

For god sake man the fuck up princess.

You sound about 15.

And yes ... I agree with Kelly . This will be another rom com for the credulous thickos

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