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with 3dc's is it possible to find someone to love us

(9 Posts)
Tottie24 Mon 09-Sep-13 11:29:56

I am a recently separated mother of 3 DC's, 5,4 and 2 and I guess I am hoping to find some uplifting stories that there are people out there who would care for us. I am more than capable of looking after the needs of the children and also more than happy to do so but just want to know if there are people out there who can accept a ready made family! I guess I find it hard to think that there maybe as Ex didn't want us then why would anyone else? though deep down I do know I shouldn't tarnish every other male with the same brush as my Ex!

itsonlyapapermoon Mon 09-Sep-13 12:42:20

I was in your position a bit over 3 years ago. 3 small children (7,5 & 3) and I felt blokes thought I was fine for some fun, but not gf material and certainly didn't want the commitment. Felt utterly depressed. I met my now DH online (he was in UK, me in Aus) he moved over to be with us. He is more of a dad to the kids than ex ever was (rarely sees them). We've been married nearly a year and are expecting a baby in 3 months time too! Don't lose hope, there are still lovely men out there who are happy to take on a "ready made" family lolsmile

Kaluki Mon 09-Sep-13 12:49:58

Of course you will meet someone.
I was on my own with 2 boys (7 and 10) and through friends I met my DP who is the love of my life and the best thing that has ever happened to me. My only regret is that I didn't meet him sooner.
You need to be choosy and take your time but the right one is out there somewhere.

ThingsThatMakeYouGoHmmmmmmmmm Mon 09-Sep-13 12:50:16

Tottie, don't sweat the old" Ex didn't want us, so why would anyone else" nonsense. Cos that's what it is. Met dp 14 years ago, with a ready made family, including a very" challenging" 14 year old girl.shock!!

Love them all more than I could ever have imagined, and we are all very happy.

NB. Recently seperated - give it a bit of time. Rebound is never good.

MamaTo3Boys Mon 09-Sep-13 12:58:39

Tottie I feel exactly the same sad I became single 18 months ago and have a 7yo, 4yo and 8mo.
I was previously in a violent relationship so don't feel ready to find anyone yet but I feel as though when I am ready, no one will want us sad its tough trying to find the right relationship with kids. You have to think of the kids relationship with new partner aswell as your own x

usedandabusedthentossedaside Mon 09-Sep-13 21:22:43

Fully understand where your coming from OP I have 5 dc's and at times feel I'll be alone for sometime but have come to the conclusion to focus on making the childrens lives as happy as I can and if someone comes along who can love and accept us all then that's a bonus.

Tottie24 Mon 09-Sep-13 21:28:30

Thank you so much for the hope, I'm not going to rush as I am enjoying having the DCs to myself and I think the feeling is mutual, but I just wanted to hear that in time It could be possible that someone would think we are alright! Better start going some sit up so that tummy/body is ready when head is wink !!

SlangKing Tue 10-Sep-13 03:13:10

I don't give much thought to dating but since you asked. I quite like the idea of Blue Peter kids ("here's some I made earlier."). Circumstances and cowardace prevented me having my own so never really developed an affinity with babies but I get along with kids I can communicate with verbally and they seem to like me. I guess cuz I'm tolerant, patient and can be as immature and mischievous as they are. As for their mum(s), I'd guess they place a high priority on stability. Who knows what a single, non-mother wants? Unless you're very lucky, EVERYONE comes with baggage and if kids are baggage at least they're a known quantity. Since I'm pretty content being single I don't crave attention, so wouldn't resent mum giving the majority of that to her kids. Essentially, if I liked and wanted to date you, your kids wouldn't be a determining factor for me. Hope that helps.

theolddragon01876 Tue 10-Sep-13 03:13:34

I was going through a divorce with 3 kids 10,9 and 7. I met my now Dh in a yahoo chatroom ( WAS NOT looking for a man,12 years with the exh and i was NEVER getting wed again )
We have been very happily married 10 years now and have a Dd,8.
He took on my 3 slightly feral and slightly damaged ( exh very abusive ) kids and was the best thing that could have happened to them. I wont say its all been roses,its been tough,at times, with early teenage boys but it HAS been the best thing for my kids,even though they still see their dad. They see him for what he is and on their terms
It has also been soooo very good for me,Im accepted and loved for who/what I am,warts n all. Im not considered stupid,useless,ugly etc. Ive relaxed,reverted to self and blossomed with my Dh (even though Ive gotten fatter and been diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis and therefore am not as up for things as id like to be ).
Dont give up hope. There is someone out there for you. You will be find someone who cherishes,loves and protects you and yours,who protects you and yours and who loves and accepts you and yours ( even though you can do all this for yours alone its nice to have someone along with you )

Oh yeah and he gave up a great life,friends family etc to come here to be with me ( even though this is the last place on earth hed have chosen to live )

They are not all the same,hang on in there XX

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