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Was I expecting too much

(77 Posts)
buaitisi Sat 07-Sep-13 09:46:59

I was 30 on Monday.
Dh asked for list of things to get weeks ago.
Asked for 2 things (not extravagant, less than he'd spend on his hobby stuff)

Morning of birthday, no presents, no card. Didn't even get ds to make me a card.

Just said, I didn't have time to get you anything, I'll do it after work. I was visibly disappointed.

I emigrated here to his home country, no family, not many close friends.

That evening he gave me presents & card, said we'll do something sat and didn't talk to me for the rest of the evening.

It's Sat evening here now, I asked if we were doing anything, he stormed out for an hour, came back with ready mix for a cake.

Told him not to bother, I was disappointed with everything.

He told me I was an ungrateful brat, what I asked for was too expensive, I was a moody bitch all week. 'Fuck you and your fucking birthday'

Was I expecting too much, tbh I was sad this week. Missing my friends & family who would've celebrated my bday with me.

I knew he wouldn't have done anything big and that's fine but he had so much time to even have a card for me that morning or all day to do something like make a card with ds.

I know I'm too old for 'special birthday girl' strop but is it ok to be disappointed by this?

cloudskitchen Mon 09-Sep-13 09:14:25

Hi there. A resolution to a situation like this does not happen overnight. You don't need to make instant decisions. Perhaps just work on your independence (which may may improve things in your marriage anyway) and then if in the future you decide enoughs enough, you are ready. Try not to let him erode YOU any further x

ginslinger Mon 09-Sep-13 10:07:11

play a long game Buaitsi. Smile and nod for now and work on what you're going to do. Keep talking here and try and find some real life support too. Make sure you clear the computer each time so he can't find anything. There have been some very useful threads of what you need to do to make plans for leaving. There are a lot of women here who have a lot of understanding of what you are going through.

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