Name changed.
Me and OH rent together, are not married but have children together. At the minute we are very happy.
However after reading lots of posts on here I'm terrified I'm not treating him right re money. He is currently on JSA while I receive the usual tax credits etc.
I hate him buying things for himself.
If he spends more than a few pounds i ask him to tell me exactly how much he has left and if he can afford the bills.
I have a few hundred sitting in my bank, he has nothing. When he was desperate for some money for cigs (I don't smoke) I took a long time to give him £3.
He 'owes' me £70 as I paid for the removal van to our new house. He is struggling to pay me back.
I take him to sign on some can never forget an appointment.
He could do with some type of transport but I don't really want to put money towards a bike/moped,
I made him cancel a standing order to a charity (he'd only signed up cos he was to embarrassed to say no)
In contrast, when he got quite a good job earlier in the year, he sent me money if I asked for it, sent flowers to my door, bought me a v expensive gift and treated us to meals out/takeaways as often as I wanted it.
On the flip side, he has been fucking terrible with money in the past.
Got involved with wonga etc and is now in a debt management plan.
Used to pay our rent late. Forgot to pay council tax for about 3 months.
Forgot to sign on a few times last year and as a result we got sanctioned.
There are more!
He's trying hard and is much better now but am I right to keep an eye on him (as it were ) or should I just leave him be?
I know I'm a bit of a control freak yes. But last year I saved us from losing our home.
An advice? I want to keep making this guy happy.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Am I financially abusive? :s
Loveyouthree · 06/09/2013 19:45
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