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Dh keeps doing something I don't like in bed

(561 Posts)
Moochicken Mon 02-Sep-13 22:10:43

Without wanting to go into too much detail, dh keeps doing something during sex which I don't like. I ask him not to and after a few minutes he does it anyway.

It doesn't happen every time but he did it again last night. He apologized after and said he won't do it again (he says this everytime) and now he can't understand why I'm still pissed off.

How seriously would you take this? If I said no and stopped sex he would listen and would never force me to do something but I still feel uncomfortable that he basically ignores my wishes.

Deal breaker for me.

What is it that he does though? I have to tell DH to leave my nipples alone on occasion, but that's because of BFing.

If he ignored me, he'd be getting nothing more than sleep at bedtime.

TheBreastmilksOnMe Mon 02-Sep-13 22:13:25

You have to tell us what it is! He sounds very inconsiderate and selfish to keep doing something he clearly knows you don't like. I would ban sex until he got the message.

Tailz Mon 02-Sep-13 22:14:57

Nope, I wouldn't be happy at all. He's being disrespectful and a knob
It's pathetic behaviour, immature and he simply doesn't sound v nice

Xales Mon 02-Sep-13 22:16:44

Get out of bed and stop the sex. Every time he does it. Tell him it puts you off and ruins your enjoyment so you do not want to continue.

ShatnersBassoon Mon 02-Sep-13 22:17:10

Stop sex and insist that he stops it if you think that will do the trick, and remind him every time you have sex that he must not do that thing or it will upset you.

It sounds very unpleasant and selfish.

TheProsAndConsOfHitchhiking Mon 02-Sep-13 22:17:17

What is he doing?

BitBewildered Mon 02-Sep-13 22:17:19

Is it something he does to you or to himself?

CailinDana Mon 02-Sep-13 22:17:30

Total dealbreaker for me. Trust is fundamental in a relationship and you can't trust someone who just does what he likes to your body against your wishes. In fact depending on what it actually is it could amount to sexual abuse.

Yawner247 Mon 02-Sep-13 22:17:58

Another one requesting you to spill the beans...what is he upto?! I would be pissed off and sex would be off the menu until he had managed to restrain himself!

Madlizzy Mon 02-Sep-13 22:18:52

Stop the sex. Say "I asked you not to do that as I don't like it, and you haven't listened again. I will not have sex if you insist on doing something that I don't like, and you could actually damage our relationship"

MaryLovesDick Mon 02-Sep-13 22:19:27

You've told him once and that should be enough. Tell him if he does it again, he's getting nothing.

It's completely disrespectful and is a huge turn off. It's not how you treat someone you love in my books.

ageofgrandillusion Mon 02-Sep-13 22:19:28

Spill the beans OP.

saintmerryweather Mon 02-Sep-13 22:19:45

my ex used to do stuff like this. id tell him to stop but he wouldnt think.i was serious, or he liked to do it so he would wait a while then try again. dont.put up with it and be as insistent as you need to be that it has to stop

LazyMonkeyButler Mon 02-Sep-13 22:19:51

Unless it's something like pulling an off-putting face (which may be involuntary) I simply wouldn't be having sex with him!

P.S. What is it?

CoffeeandScones Mon 02-Sep-13 22:20:06

Does it matter what it is? If the OP doesn't like it, then that's enough.

AintNobodyGotTimeFurThat Mon 02-Sep-13 22:21:42

I'd make sure he knew how seriously I disliked it by stopping 'it' when he started to do it.

I think he'd soon get the message how much you didn't like it then, no? smile

ShatnersBassoon Mon 02-Sep-13 22:22:05

Yes, we do need to know how invasive the thing is really, to decide if it's a dealbreaker.

chattychattyboomba Mon 02-Sep-13 22:22:45

Need to know what he does.i'll start- Mine tweaks my nipples. It makes me angry!!! I actually feel like punching him when he does it (let alone continuing sex) but he says 'oops sorry' straight away and I think it is genuinely an impulse and he doesn't know he's doing it (which says how much he is 'present' and worried about my own bloody enjoyment!) but this is not about me... Just wanted you to know you're not alone

CailinDana Mon 02-Sep-13 22:23:28

It does matter coffee. Annoying grunting = icky and offputting but not major. Repeatedly attempting something like anal against the op's wishes= total disrespect bordering on criminal.

ShatnersBassoon Mon 02-Sep-13 22:23:38

It might be an odd noise, which would be forgivable.

thenightsky Mon 02-Sep-13 22:23:57

I've dumped exes for this. You shouldn't have to put up with it OP.

Moochicken Mon 02-Sep-13 22:23:58

He likes putting his finger in my bum. I don't enjoy it and find it quite a turn off. Not because I think its wrong or anything, I just don't think it feels very nice.

He's really into the idea of anal sex too but it really doesn't appeal so (apart from one drunken night when I thought I'd give it a try- unsuccessfully) I've always said no.

thenightsky Mon 02-Sep-13 22:26:12

See I knew this is what you were going to say OP. Like I said, I've dumped for this very offence. Instant turn off!

CailinDana Mon 02-Sep-13 22:26:46

Dealbreaker then. He's consciously and repeatedly stepping over a very clear boundary.

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