I have name changed for this, so if you recognise some of the details, please don't say who I am.
Two and a half years ago I met my now dh on a night out.
I was already married and had been for 11 years, since I was 19. We had one ds who was 8 when I met my now husband.
My ex and I were living separate lives. We hadn't had sex for seven years and had major issues with his family. He worked abroad and slept with prostitutes while away, went to strip clubs all the time. This I knew as I had to produce these receipts for strip clubs to our accountant when he was elf employed. It was humiliating.
I was so lonely. I have never had many friends but the few I did thought everything was rosey and that we were happily married. It was an awful sham, he made me feel worthless every day. Called me stupid as I don't have much of an education (I was so badly bullied that I left school as soon as I could after a suicide attempt at 15 as I couldn't take it anymore). He took every opportunity to make me feel worthless and talk down to me. I was so frightened to leave as without him I would have had nothing. He controlled all the money. He bought everything - I didn't even have a purse for our entire marriage, there was no point.
When I met dh I wanted to escape. Dh was the first man I had even spoken to in years. Six months after we met, me and dd moved in with him.
He was a mature student at the time but studying a degree in media that I knew wouldn't lead anywhere (a few of my friends have the same degree, they all retrained and none of them could ever use it). He was in his last year and I supported him. I soon realised I had jumped out of the frying pan into the fire. He's younger than me. One night he was telling me about a night out with a friend the weekend prior to us moving in together where they went to a strip club. I felt like my head was exploding after what I went through with ex h. Then I found out he had a porn addiction since he was 15.
Hes stopped watching porn. He used to drink a lot but only drinks once a month now.
I don't know what the point of my post is really. Only that I saw my old house for sale on right move. I loved it. It was my dream home. I walked away from it to be with dh and everyday I curse myself.
My life with ex was shit, but this is worse. I have lived with dh for two years and I have cried everyday.
Dd is happy though. Dh is good stepdad to her. He is good to me too, but he's so feckless. Today he announced he wants to leave his job and try and get a job doing something he likes, which he isn't qualified in, it's just a hobby. He hasn't a chance in hell of getting a job doing it, you need a relevent degree.
He won't listen and accuses me of holding him back.
We rent a shithole, we have nothing. I have no security. I am frightened for my future.
He puts his parents feelings before mine.
I feel like I am waking up from a nightmare. I threw away everything for this.
Oh, and I am pregnant.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
I made a terrible mistake with my life
namevchange · 02/09/2013 16:27
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