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Mil (age 67) and fil (72) say they now find it "too tiring" to have our dc to stay for 3 days in the summer holidays

(347 Posts)
Mintyy Sun 01-Sep-13 18:09:09

I'm a bit surprised. When I'm 67 I would hope to have the energy to hang out with a 10 year old and a 12 year old who require no more care than having their meals cooked and to be reminded to have a shower/go to bed (10 year old only).

Or is that unrealistic of me?

Mil is less than 17 years older than me to put it in context grin.

hettienne Sun 01-Sep-13 18:11:16

I think it's fair enough - they've done their child-rearing and are finding it harder work now. By next summer presumably you won't really need them for childcare anyway?

ALittleStranger Sun 01-Sep-13 18:11:18

Maybe they're finding a polite excuse for the fact that they don't want to do lots of free childcare for you?

LadyMilfordHaven Sun 01-Sep-13 18:13:09

or maybe older kids are in fact harder to entertain.less happy with the playground etc

Not really surprised unfortunately.

My own parents have used the same reason as well towards me with regards to (now teenage) DS. Its their loss ultimately but I honestly do not think that they see it in that way.

RandomMess Sun 01-Sep-13 18:14:22

Perhaps it's just making conversation and interacting with others that is too much now because they are set in their ways and spend lots of time in silence grin

BrianButterfield Sun 01-Sep-13 18:14:39

But having children to stay tends to involve taking them out on day trips and generally doing things - I would imagine this is what is tiring for them. Having to take other people onto consideration all the time when you are used to doing what pleases you is mentally tiring.

daftdame Sun 01-Sep-13 18:15:13

They don't want to for whatever reason, it is up to them isn't it?

Maybe just have them to do the fun things, family events, dinners, parties etc.

usualsuspect Sun 01-Sep-13 18:16:58

I dont think DC of that age need entertaining do they?

TrinityRhino Sun 01-Sep-13 18:17:13

They probably just don't want to do it anymore

maybe the older kids are harder to entertain

hettienne Sun 01-Sep-13 18:17:21

I intend to be very done with looking after children by the time I am in my late 60s/70s. I'm hoping mine will be long gone by the time I am 50! Happy to do a bit of grandparenting but at 70 I will be on a cruise...

DuelingFanjo Sun 01-Sep-13 18:17:28

Have they been doing it for years? Maybe they find it tiring.

I find this is an issue that has a great polarity of opinion. My mother stated before I myself became a parent that she was in no way going to babysit said child for any real length of time. Her reasoning was also along the lines of, "been there and done that". The end result is that my DS can hardly be bothered with them.

Your comment certainly made me laugh (in a good way) RandomMess.

In my case its basically a case of my parents being disinterested in anything much other than shopping, housework and enabling my childfree brother with regards to ferrying him to the airport, doing his housework and ironing.

LadyMilfordHaven Sun 01-Sep-13 18:21:45

they dont need entertaining but Gps dont like seeing them veg out

feel they arent doing anything

MrsCampbellBlack Sun 01-Sep-13 18:22:00

I'm not surprised. My in-laws are similar ages and I wouldn't ask them to have my 3 for 3 days. Of course mine are younger, but then they're in bed by 7'ish.

They will happily have one child for a couple of days though and enjoy that - would they do that perhaps?

Mintyy Sun 01-Sep-13 18:24:31

Roffling at some of these replies!

You may have a point there LadyMilford.

WaitingForMe Sun 01-Sep-13 18:24:49

How sad for your kids. I'm so glad my grandparents (similar age) didn't get too tired to have my brother and I over to stay. We used to visit regularly until our late teens. I'd be gutted if my mum didn't do the same for DS - for him not me.

RandomMess Sun 01-Sep-13 18:25:30

Honestly I find it tiring when my eldest comes to stay (she lives with her Dad) OMG it's another person in the house who wants to talk to me, all my usual chill out opportunities vanish shock

I love having her here but it does change the dynamics and it's just well more tiring even though she helps out and does stuff with her siblings etc. confused

LadyMilfordHaven Sun 01-Sep-13 18:26:17

its unusual for hte GPs to bale before the Gk really. NOrmally at the age of abou 15/16 they want to stay at home

MrsCampbellBlack Sun 01-Sep-13 18:27:23

I think you have something LadyMH. My in-laws came for lunch today and mil was very fidgety as eldest was playing chess on his ipad - she had to take him for a walk instead.

usualsuspect Sun 01-Sep-13 18:28:02

Do your boys get on?

My dgs bicker all the time. I have to referee more than anything else grin

usualsuspect Sun 01-Sep-13 18:30:46

I dunno why I said boys, they could be girls or one of each.

Fraxinus Sun 01-Sep-13 18:30:55

Are you finding they contrast slightly with your own Parent's willingness to care for your children?

Mintyy Sun 01-Sep-13 18:31:03

I have a girl and a boy. They get on great. They wouldn't dare bicker in gma's house!

Mintyy Sun 01-Sep-13 18:31:33

Fraxinus: no.

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