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Last week he couldn't live without me...

(22 Posts)
WonderingHow Tue 27-Aug-13 16:57:20

You're so right about this

He just seems to want a few boxes to be ticked then he can do his routine to get her. The woman herself is interchangeable.

It's hard to watch when woman no 3 is someone who matters to you, and who thinks the whirlwind romance means something ( it does - it means pathologically shallow attachment).

Strangely enough she had been ill too; and he was a minor tv celeb. And his exes were awful of course. But naturally they have each found the love of their lives, just like that. All that stuff with the drunk, mad ex, and the weaponry, well, it just shows how misunderstood the poor man was hmm

If you can, and you want to, give the new lady a one line warning - something like, he's not what he looks like, take care. Then silence. She'll be angry but if you want to try...

Whether you do or not, ultimately you have to detach and let people wreck their lives if they want to.

Have fun at your event - show the world, never mind him smile

BrittaPie Tue 27-Aug-13 15:55:47

Yeah, he only shouted at them to get at me, Im 100% sure and alert to any signs otherwise

Gruntfuttock Tue 27-Aug-13 13:29:08

Your mention 'kids handover'. Are your children safe in his care?

Chubfuddler Tue 27-Aug-13 12:46:31

<head desk>

Stop worrying about him and "showing" him anything. Divorce the fucker and thank god you've escaped.

BrittaPie Tue 27-Aug-13 12:38:43

Im going to a big dress up retro dance event on Friday. I've lost loads of weight and got better at dancing since we were together so I am either wearing a pencil skirt or full skirt with frilly petticoats (and frilly knickers for when it twirls out). Loads of red lipstick, head up, smile and get photos of me having a great time dancing with random men all over the Internet :-)

He'll definitely be over me then, I'll not look vulnerable...

LoisPuddingLane Tue 27-Aug-13 12:20:03

He doesn't sound much of a loss. Stop following him/them in cyberspace. As Vivacia says, put your energy somewhere else. As something in real life once said to me, you are letting him live in your head rent free.

I don't know if that should be followed by a "you go girl" finger click but let's imagine it is.

Vivacia Tue 27-Aug-13 12:10:29

Why are you spending so much of your time thinking about them, following her online etc. Put your energies elsewhere.

ouryve Tue 27-Aug-13 11:46:07

You're probably upset because that's 7 years of your life you'll never get back and you're probably kicking yourself for it. You bought his sales pitch and yes, the product he sold probably made you laugh a lot at times, but now you're questioning how real that was and how you managed to overlook the times it was utterly shit.

Get that divorce, before the wind changes again.

SirRaymondClench Tue 27-Aug-13 11:39:13

Unfriend, delete, block whatever.
Read what you posted ^ this man is a cock of the highest order.
Please breathe a sigh of relief that he has moved onto his next victim and you are now free to concentrate on yourself and your children.
You do not need him.
He is a loser.
He does not like women.
At all.
Let him write his shitty poetry. That says it all really. That's all he thinks it takes us stupid women to fall for his crap.
The blog on pick up techniques says everything it needs to.

Squitten Tue 27-Aug-13 11:36:03

He's an abusive alcoholic mess. Of course he's behaving appallingly! So what if he's entrapped some equally damaged woman into another of his snares? She's a big girl and can look out for herself. Who cares what he thinks of you? His opinion is worth nothing unless you choose to value it.

Your priority is yourself and your children ONLY. Take a good look at his messed up life and pat yourself on the back for getting away from it. Stop following all this stuff on Twitter, etc. What on earth do you expect to gain from that? Take advantage of his new mood to get that divorce done asap and move on with your life.

BrittaPie Tue 27-Aug-13 11:16:23

I am the cunt ex, he posted it just after he had bumped into me in the pub, sulked and glared and me then come over to shake hands and make elaborate farewells with everyone I was with and blanking me.

The man is 38 years old, he got seven years out of me, ten years out of the ex before me (and of course I believed all of the 'the bitch accused me of abuse for no reason' because I was a twat with very low self esteem who was ten years younger than him and blinded by the glamour of minor tv appearances, shit poetry and friends in local rock bands) so it wouldn't surprise me if he marries this one.

The poor misunderstood artist, these women go around randomly accusing him of abuse and breaking his heart :-/

Chubfuddler Tue 27-Aug-13 11:06:49

I know I throw this suggestion all over mn but seriously, google the freedom programme and hopefully deal with the issues that led you to be attracted to such an utter utter arsehole in the first place.

He wrote a blog on pick up tips and you found this attractive? Mind boggling.

SirRaymondClench Tue 27-Aug-13 11:02:25

Stop following them on twitter etc. He wrote a blog on picking up tips?
Blimey you've had a lucky escape.
He is showing you what he is like, observe it.
You need to be focussing on you and your DC not some arsehole who was a frankly appalling view of women.
Incidentally was it you or her he was referring to as a 'cunt ex'?
Either way you should have nothing more to do with this man because it doesn't seem to be a very long journey between writing poetry and being a 'cunt ex'.

EasyMark Tue 27-Aug-13 10:59:01

Get the divorce and run for the hills.

Poor women, but its her mistake to make sad

BrittaPie Tue 27-Aug-13 10:58:16

It makes no sense. I was happy to start with that he had a new girlfriend, until I found out how vulnerable she is :-(

BrittaPie Tue 27-Aug-13 10:56:20

I am so tempted to try to warn her, but Id be the bitter ex wife :-(

BrittaPie Tue 27-Aug-13 10:54:30

She is just recovering from cancer, ffs, as well as having serious MH issues like me. It's like he can sniff them out.

BrittaPie Tue 27-Aug-13 10:53:02

Her twitter from Sunday is all 'Im having a really bad day, my meds have been increased'. Then in the evening 'I have a new boyfriend!'

Lweji Tue 27-Aug-13 10:52:54

You should get the divorce before she dumps him.

You do have to feel sorry for her. sad

BrittaPie Tue 27-Aug-13 10:50:54

He is all of a sudden ok with me divorcing him for unreasonable behaviour too. Makes things a lot easier, for admin and emotionally, but Im worried he has found his third wife. He just seems to want a few boxes to be ticked then he can do his routine to get her. The woman herself is interchangeable.

He even wrote a blog when we first got together, which was basically pick up artist tips, which I somehow found attractive, that he knew what he was doing or something. He was posting references to the blog yesterday :-(

Lweji Tue 27-Aug-13 10:48:08

Because she's putting up with him, I'm sure.

Just be glad he's not bothering you. smile

BrittaPie Tue 27-Aug-13 10:43:23

EA alcoholic husband - I finally plucked up the courage to leave him and he spent six months begging for me back, interspersed with insulting me , my friends and family. We ended up back together for a bit until halfway through June when he was back to his old tricks and I told him to bugger off again. Cue another round of either 'if I could click my fingers and die I would' or 'cunt exes should not be allowed to turn up places you are' as well as actually blanking me at kids handover etc. right up till Sunday.

So why am I so upset that he is apparently now head over heels in love with some other woman, who looks very like me, has the same serious health issue plus more, same number of kids and everything?

He is writing her poetry :-(. It is exactly what he did when we had a 'whirlwind romance' straight after he split up with his (also with a serious health condition, but this one was different) first ex wife.

It's all a game to him, isn't it? :-(

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