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new boyfriend constantly telling sexist jokes.. should I end it or am I over sensitive??!!

(184 Posts)
misssounsure Mon 26-Aug-13 17:52:59

I've been seeing a lovely man for a few months and he is great in every way except one... he makes some sexist jokes. They are just jokes and initially I laughed as I didn't want to come across as having no sense of humour or being over sensitive! His father is also like it... cracking sexist jokes all the time and jokingly saying his wife cant do x, y, z etc because she is a woman... its constant joking sexism with his family.

The other day my boyfriend started telling me how he and a colleague told a female colleague they could tell she was on her period. He was laughing hysterically as he told me this and told me she got very embarrassed. I've been thinking this over and over and I dont think its acceptable. Q. is would this be enough to end the relationship for you? He is amazing in all other ways but for these stupid jokes and comments

His friends are also like it too!! Last month we went on a weekend away with his friend and his friend's wife. His friend CONSTANTLY leered at the air hostesses saying "phhwwoooor look at that" (this was a 3pm flight with families, kids about... not a night club environment!

My boyfriend is 33 years old by the way. Would you get rid now???? He is great in all other ways!!

Keepithidden Thu 29-Aug-13 14:42:07

Dahlen, you're right. I'm just complicating things by trying to explain my sexism in the context of the sexism demonstrated by OPs.

Apologies to all I've confused/annoyed.

JoinYourPlayfellows Thu 29-Aug-13 15:39:48

"because of the society I've been raised in I will invariably end up being sexist somewhere along the line."

I bet you will.

And so will I.

Despite it being something I am very conscious of.

And I do tend to challenge that kind of laziness where I see it and where it can be done gently.

But I only have so much energy and I'd rather spend it on convincing women not to put up with sexist crap than on trying to convince male chauvinists to only tell their nasty jokes when there are no women around.

We are more than half the population.

Even with the money and property and positions of power that we have been denied by mediocre, domineering and avaricious men, we can still do a lot.

I look forward to a day when no woman would even consider dating a man who makes sexist jokes.

And she would just laugh when some other sexist told her to give sexists and chance and fix their deficiencies.

quoteunquote Fri 30-Aug-13 08:34:59

Relationships are really finding someone who's faults you can live with,

You can't change someone, pointless trying,

So unless you want nasty undermining sexist crap as a back drop to the rest of your life, move on and don't waste any more precious time .

nkf Fri 30-Aug-13 12:26:40

Great quote from Congreve about the faults and failings of spouses. You should like their faults as much as you like your own. That's the summary. Here's the exact quote.

I'll tell thee, Fainall, she once used me with that insolence that in revenge I took her to pieces, sifted her, and separated her failings: I studied 'em and got 'em by rote. The catalogue was so large that I was not without hopes, one day or other, to hate her heartily. To which end I so used myself to think of 'em, that at length, contrary to my design and expectation, they gave me every hour less and less disturbance, till in a few days it became habitual to me to remember 'em without being displeased. They are now grown as familiar to me as my own frailties, and in all probability in a little time longer I shall like 'em as well.

GrendelsMum Fri 30-Aug-13 15:35:47

MN needs more Congreve on the Relationships board.

Except that rather than LTB, all the advice would probably be CTB (cukold the bastard)

nkf Fri 30-Aug-13 16:23:30

And the town versus country debate would be settled in no time. Never move out of London.

GrendelsMum Fri 30-Aug-13 17:17:34

Would that be the town versus <nudge nudge> country debate?

cory Fri 30-Aug-13 21:25:49

Contrarian78 Thu 29-Aug-13 10:32:07

"Don't accept second best, but equally don't potentially miss out on a fulfilling relationship because somebody fell short of this notion of a perfect human being."

I'd say, don't miss out on a first class relationship because you felt obliged to take second best if he came along first

JoinYourPlayfellows Fri 30-Aug-13 21:29:26

"I'd say, don't miss out on a first class relationship because you felt obliged to take second best if he came along first"

Perfect smile

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