Why can we never make the right decisions?
After we uprooted everybody and moved to Norway in 2008 everything has been a mess and an uphill struggle. We thought returning to London would make things better for all of us, but instead everything feels worse.
The area which has improved:
ds2 feels more settled and socially aware, having made some friends. But the drawback now is that he has to uproot from Y6 and go on to secondary.
Life in general and work is pretty bad. And we seem unable to turn things around.
I have started on an MBA, which I hope will make me more employable, I want to work elsewhere rather than be involved in our own business. We could do with an extra income to be honest!
Leisure? We have none. Not really. In the last two years I can count on one hand the times I have met friends. I have very few friends. In fact I have 2 in the UK. They both have many many friends, so I know I am not as special to them as they are to me.
All our time is taken up with work and childrens activities. I have not been to the gym in over a year. I have not had time to even go for a walk. I feel down and depressed and unable to kick my own butt into gear.
I never thought I should miss life in Norway so much when we returned to London. I never thought that friendships and quality leisure should be so important to me, but it is. Here I have a firm group of friends and family, and we do things together.
Not just the "London mum thing" where you go for a coffee after drop off and chat about your kids, but go for mountain walks, bbqs, weekends away together, quality time spent, not just chit chat. (I know lots of Londoners too go camping together, but we dont know anybody well enough to ever be invited)
In 4 weeks I have met more people than I have for the entire 2 years we have lived back in London again!
I dont see how I can get a job in London that is going to work well with kids in school, and a husband that works really late hours and travel.
I am sick of driving 20 minutes each way to drop kids off to and from school. Stressing back and forth with school, clubs and activities, cooking and cleaning, there is so much driving, and so much time spent transporting kids, doing homework with them, it is driving me mad.
It seems more and more clear to me that the entire Lifestyle is impossible for me to get on with.
And I feel so resentful that dh is always putting the business ahead of us and our happiness, and that he never has time. The main reason we returned to London was HIS unhappiness in Norway due to the work situation. This situation has not changed in London. He still works all hours, still does not really take part in family life, and I do everything related to activities and school.
I think I have given myself a time limit. I think I will take the kids and return to Norway in a year, and he can come if he wants to. I honestly have had enough. I rather be a single mum in Norway, working full time, than living the stress I am living in London, where I juggle school drop offs and work, feel lonely, have money worries, and still do all housework and everything related to our family, enabling his work while I eradicate myself. It is not as if we are earning a lot.
He has not taken ONE day off for holidays this year. Not one. He has been working from home at my parents place, while I have been with the kids full time, been cooking and cleaning and doing laundry, answering emails and given him reports and financial overviews in between. He promised he would take time off so we could do things together. But no. He takes the kids out to "do stuff" at 8 pm, so they return at 11 pm wet, cold and too knackered to eat before they go to bed. All we as a family get is bank holiday Monday.
I feel so ANGRY and resentful. Our marriage is generally good, and we get along fine, but the last year I think has truly been a nail in the coffin for our marriage. I cannot stay on board this ship and see him work his arse off all hours, taking one bad decision after the other, while not making enough money to live comfortably, just for the sake of having our own business.
So we have two issues:
Work and geographic location, and I just want to jump ship and leave him to it. He gets London, he keeps his business and He can hire a cleaner to replace me.
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Relationships
4 Weeks away, and returning to London in 7 days, and I feel my heart is breaking. Again
20 replies
QuintessentialOldDear · 23/08/2013 12:37
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