Hi everyone,
DD is two in October and she is brilliant. OH and I have had some serious marital difficulties since my pregnancy. I don't think it's too one-sided to say there was some pretty unreasonable behaviour on his behalf for a long time, he would admit that too and is sorry. He didn't cheat or anything but he wasn't supportive at all to me during pregnancy and the first year after she was born and there were a lot of arguments and I was very unhappy.
Sex started to go downhill before I fell pregnant. He didn't want it at all while I was pregnant or for a year after the birth and I was very hurt by this.
A few months ago, I was convinced we would split soon but he has done a serious u-turn and is now being ridiculously nice. He wants another baby and he is regularly trying to have sex. He is stepping up the new baby campaign because he has just turned 38 (I am 30) and he says he wants to prove to me he can behave properly this time.
We are getting along a lot better but to be honest, the thought of sex with him actually upsets me. I feel like it is just weighed down with issues. I would love another baby but I don't want to DTD for that to happen.
I haven't found him attractive for a long time either which doesn't help. We are actually very friendly at the moment and as a family we are spending some nice time together, so I am wondering if this can improve?
he is making me feel a bit guilty, saying our daughter needs a sibling, he needs to get cracking because of his age.
I suppose my question is, is it selfish to not try? How can I get over this sex thing? Do you think you can find someone attractive again after you had got to the point of not loving them anymore? I am reluctant to ask to go to counselling as we are getting along ok at the moment and I fear asking will make it worse again.
please advise or tell me your similar experience. Sorry for the long post xx
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Relationships
He wants another baby and I really don't
Licketysplit123 · 22/08/2013 22:28
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