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DH wearing more than just womens underwear, I don't like it. Don't know what to do now.

(76 Posts)
ItsATurnOff Wed 21-Aug-13 16:10:57

When me and DH got together, after a while I suspected he liked wearing womens underwear as he kept trying mine on 'for a joke' in front of me. Anyway, he finally admitted that he likes it and at first I wasn't overly bothered, or maybe I thought I wasn't, I don't know now tbh.

After a while he started buying himself some and wearing on occasion at night. Then it was every night. I would frequently see him lean forwards with some lacy/silky/red or blatantly womens underwear on. It became a bit of a turn off tbh.

I do the washing and I noticed more and more womens underwear. He seems to be buying new stuff all the time, he now must have between 30-50 pairs, I haven't looked that closely but it is a lot, more than his normal underwear and far more than I have. He says he likes the feeling of the silk etc but there are thongs (which can't be a comfort thing as they are not comfortable) and lacey ones. I get more and more annoyed by it and I have hinted heavily as much, he knows it bugs me but he never mentions it and carries on buying them. When I say he has been buying more, he just denies it, even though as I do the washing, its obvious when more new ones crop up. The other day I was on his phone (with his consent) and when I went back a couple of pages too far, it came up with the Tesco website, where he had been looking at more womens underwear.

Anyway, just now I was putting something away in his wardrobe when I saw a bag scrunched up at the back and it was all tied up. I opened it and in there is 2 womens lacey body suits, one with a bra type top. They clearly aren't for me as the bra size is all wrong and they are far too big for my body. I don't know when he would ever wear this, I am always around. On the odd occasion I am out, then the kids are here. There is the odd time I go out of an evening but this is not frequent.

I don't like this. I didn't really like the underwear, it didn't matter quite so much when it was 1 or 2 pairs and he kept it hidden more, but then he didn't bother to hide it, bought more and more even though he knows I don't like it and now this. I don't think he wants to dress as a woman. I have asked him before and he said no and I do believe him.

I don't really know what to do now. sad

justwondering72 Sat 24-Aug-13 22:05:31

I would agree with everything Gottasayit says. That you canlove the man and hate the behaviour. That your feelings about the behaviour can change over time. That he will minimise the importance or significance of it in the early stages of a relationship then, as he feels more comfortable or simply as the compulsion grows, the behaviour will escalate. And that, ultimately, you have to decide for yourself what you can live with and be happy. Because you are important. But the same goes for him. He needs to decide what he can live with, whether he can realistically limit his behaviour and genuinely be happy. And if you cant find some middle ground that you can both live with, then you have to both look at moving on.

Good luck OP.

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