Note: Mumsnetters don't necessarily have the qualifications or experience to offer relationships counselling or to provide help in cases of domestic violence. Mumsnet can't be held responsible for any advice given on the site. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

I am unsure whether I have just had my first ever orgasm

(61 Posts)
Totalluvvie Mon 19-Aug-13 21:23:00

A bit of background: I have never ever had an orgasm. Not on my own or with a partner. Neither have I ever masturbated. I have been married, very happily so, for nearly 10 years, and, with a lot of encouragement from DH, decided that it was definitely time to work through why. So I have invested in a vibrator from emotional bliss, read some books on why women son't orgasm, or lose their orgasm etc, and decided to try and masturbate to find out what works for me. The idea is that I have time and space to have a go myself, and then involve DH when I feel comfortable. No rush and no pressure.

Right. So whilst having a play with the vibrator tonight, after 10 minutes or so, feeling more and more turned on, I sort of tensed up, and felt a series of five or so involuntary muscle spasms in my vagina, and then felt something wet inside (though nothing came out of me) and my heart raced. It was quite nice smile but not mind blowing, and didn't last more than five or so seconds.

Is this an orgasm? I know that some people will say that if I am unsure, then it cannot be, but I don't have anything to compare it to, which is why I am asking!

Totalluvvie Tue 20-Aug-13 21:02:57

I am using femblossom heat by emotional bliss. The rabbit looks a little scary! It worked for me again tonight, and it was better than last night. Hurrah! Onwards and upwards. Maybe I am getting addicted? I could go from non orgasmic to sex addict in world record time smile

SomethingOnce Tue 20-Aug-13 21:08:15

The solo ones are never mindblowing in the way the best ones with DP are, especially those after a long, lazy afternoon in bed.

Maybe the best is yet to, um, come smile

LoisPuddingLane Tue 20-Aug-13 21:13:35

Well done on the fanjolele success! You'll be wanking for England soon. grin

SomethingOnce Tue 20-Aug-13 21:16:02

GB Women's Wankers for the 2016 Olympics!

ComtesseDeFrouFrou Tue 20-Aug-13 21:20:35

A tip - don't stop too soon when you feel it happening. Stick with it, IYSWIM.

internationallove985 Tue 20-Aug-13 21:41:44

I agree O.P once you've had your first orgasm there's no going back. I had my first from oral at 19 and my first vaginal orgasm at 21 and I've not looked back since. There has only been one time where I've not had an orgasm through vaginal sex since my first orgasm. I can't comment on having an anal orgasm as I'm very proud to say I'm an anal virgin. I know I shouldn't knock it til I've tried it and I'm sure you've gathered I'm no prude but anal sex is a no no. I also enjoy giving pleasure as well. xx

Norgasm Wed 21-Aug-13 13:34:02

OP - well, this is weird - I started a really similar thread recently. But it sounds like you have got a bit further than me!

What books did you read and did you find them useful?

BitOutOfPractice Wed 21-Aug-13 13:53:34

Hurrah! :D

TwoStepsBeyond Wed 21-Aug-13 14:08:42

I actually thought I'd used up all my orgasms (a la Samantha from SATC) until I met DP and he reawakened them big style.

Vibrators never did it for me. Trouble is, now I know I have to hold on to this bloke as he is the key to my underneathsie's (love that word!) happiness.

Fortunately like Earthworm, I find my best orgasms are when I'm pleasuring him at the same time (helps to keep me quiet too!) so we both have a vested interest in keeping them coming, if you'll pardon the pun.

I tend to have a series of good smaller ones, but he won't give up until I've had the earth shattering, scare the neighbours one at the end too.

Sallyingforth Wed 21-Aug-13 18:04:05

Just keep practising OP. You need time to understand exactly what and how you are feeling. It really will get better.

StElmo Thu 22-Aug-13 23:27:13

Sounds like a manual orgasm to me! There is a huge difference between orgasming alone and with your sexual partner, he sounds very understanding and like he wants to please you, so be honest and tell him what feels good and what doesn't, try and relax and also have a laugh if something feels silly or weird to you, tell him, giggle about it. Sex and exploring each other is fun. Best of luck!

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now