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Why is my work so much less important than his? Bloody fed up.

(81 Posts)
thescribbler Mon 19-Aug-13 14:25:55

I work from home as a freelancer - it's my first work after being made redundant from my job two years ago and spending that time as a SAHM. I've currently got a really good contract that enables me to work round the kids during school hours and in the evenings. It's well paid and interesting and every day I feel so grateful that I can work and be with my kids too. I know how lucky I am.

DH is a teacher. He works long and exhausting hours, but the pay-off is that he gets the summer holidays. It's supposedly a relief for me as I can work without having to arrange child care and summer camps etc, and it means I can work a proper 8-hour day during the holidays without having to make up the time in the evenings and at weekends.

Except that every day I work he comes upstairs at least once an hour with some kind of interruption. In the past hour he has asked me if he can leave the kids while he goes to Homebase to pick up some paint, asked for help removing a bird's nest from the garden and where the sun cream is. After the last interruption I lost my rag and yelled downstairs, 'Why is my work so much less important than yours?' to which he replied calmly, "I wouldn't shout, we have a visitor", so now I feel embarrassed and a complete idiot.

I am fucking pissed off with it. It's not just the constant interruptions while I'm working at home. It's an ongoing battle of him undervaluing what I do. I keep reminding him that without this work we wouldn't have had a new bathroom, new back windows and two holidays this year - he still treats it as if it is a hobby. During the school term he returns from work expecting dinner cooked and everything done - his response if I complain is that he's at work all day. BUT WHERE DOES HE THINK I AM?

Apologies for shouting. I'm just bloody fed up with it all now. Any calm responses would be very welcome.

lottiegarbanzo Thu 22-Aug-13 09:00:21

Lol at 'its not teaching or saving lives'. Teaching is important but it's not saving lives. Does firefighter trump teacher in your household hierarchy?

DP and I have both lived alone in the past, working ft, so experienced knowing that if you want dinner, you make it, if you want something ironed, you iron it. Has your DH always lived with parents or partner? I cannot understand how else the 'I've been at work so deserve to be served' mentality can come about.

Yes to mumbling, timing him and adding time to your day and phoning him at work. He'll say it's not the same, it is.

celticclan Thu 22-Aug-13 12:29:32

I'm amazed at £60 per month for office space. A friend of mine asked if I was interested in sharing office space to save costs. I said that it was unlikely as I assumed that office space in the south east is around £500 per month.

How much does everyone else pay?

I don't have an issue with dh's attitude re home working but friends and family drive me mad. Thinking I'm anti social because I don't do coffee after the school run and the endless comments about applying for full time employment...

Alibabaandthe40nappies Thu 22-Aug-13 13:51:09

celtic - we are SE and could be paying Regus £200 a month for an office - that includes them taking calls for us I think. London is more expensive in some areas but it varys hugely, much more than I thought it would.

We actually pay just the £25 a month for a hotdesk at the moment because that is all DH needs.

Biscuitsareme Thu 22-Aug-13 14:07:45

I'd rent an office for 60 quid. I bet there will be a psychological dimension too, and you may even come to feel differently about the value of your job.

Good luck!

ps like tribpot's post of 08:10

celticclan Thu 22-Aug-13 14:25:02

Thanks Alibaba.

oscarwilde Thu 22-Aug-13 14:32:52

£60 ? Wow - does that include heating, lighting and internet connectivity?

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