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DP is a lazy fucker.

(180 Posts)

Ok, thread title may be a slight harsh, but seriously. I'm losing the will to cope.

DP is not in work (made redundant in June) and has always been shite in the mornings but its getting fucking annoying now. He gets up between 10 and 12 most mornings, leaving me with three DC under five. I have no family support.

I'm so bloody resentful, the kids love him and DD1 thinks its great cuddling a half asleep daddy even though I'm the one who gets up with them.

Some mornings I leave the baby in bed with him while I sort the older two but the other day I came upstairs to find her absolutely screaming and him fast asleep wrapped in the duvet hmm

Sorry this is a muddle, I'm pretty angry right now, this isn't the only issue. What do I do? I've tried forcing him to get up, leaving him to it, suggesting taking it in turns to lay in, and nothing works. Even when he had a job he'd ignore his alarm and end up rushing out of the door. He's 22, if that makes a difference.

Is this a problem? Am I just a control freak? Never posted here before.

Vivacia Sun 25-Aug-13 18:38:02

I really really want to get married, but I feel like I'll NEVER be able to unless I paid for the whole fucking thing myself

That sounds more like you want a wedding than you want a marriage.

Also he's been violent more times than I care to remember,

How does this violence manifest itself?

tribpot Sun 25-Aug-13 19:03:54

Paying for the wedding yourself would not be a problem if this was the right guy. But I find the fact you could even still consider marrying him disturbing under the circumstances - and evidence I think that you are locked into some very negative thinking. If Women's Aid have a limit on their timeframe for helping you, I would ask them if they can suggest somewhere else you can turn. You badly need to escape from the mindset where you deserve this - or where nothing will be better.

If you leave him, for example, he won't be entitled to come and go as he pleases in your house simply because he shares PR for your children. Any more than you would be free to come and go in his. You would be two independent adults (albeit 'adult' is pushing it in his case) who co-parent.

You can get out of this.

Lweji Sun 25-Aug-13 19:26:12

Also he's been violent more times than I care to remember,

This would merit an immediate LTB.

You can reach your limit when you want to. No need to explain or justify yourself or discuss it. Just remember that.

Snazzyenjoyingsummer Sun 25-Aug-13 20:33:21

If he's violent as well as all the rest, then regardless of how difficult it might seem, you will be better off without him. Imagine how awful it will be when the kids get older and become aware of all this. Don't put yourself or them through that.

LuisSuarezTeeth Mon 26-Aug-13 06:52:25

Splash, the violence is more than enough.

Stop turning this in on yourself. It's NOT YOU.

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