Hey people.
Please be gentle with me as I am a bit fragile at the moment.
I was single for 6 years (dating etc but never anyone serious) until I met a guy a year ago. We got on straight away, started dating etc. He would stay at mine when he was in town (3 nights a week) 6 months in he decided to move home and that was the next place I was moving to (I was travelling and working) and so we decided to move together.
We got a place together and all was pretty good, to be honest I was starting to think maybe this was it. We just got on so so well, we rarely argued, he was kind, a great cook and we just enjoyed each others company. However, he couldnt find work and got quite down so when a 3 month placement came up living elsewhere we both agreed he should go there to work. 3 weeks in I went to visit him, his job was going well and there was talk about me moving there.
When I went to see him we had an argument and he told me he was unhappy and wanted space, he said his head was messed up and he didnt know if he wanted to settle down etc. I was a bit shocked but went back to where I was living and game him space. To cut a long story short, 4 weeks later he still just kept saying he needed space so I made the decision for him and walked away.
I have been totally gutted, he was honestly the best thing that has happened to me for years. I dont think hes met someone else but I also wise enough to know that it probably means he just wasnt that into me, and its better to know now etc. However this hasnt stopped it hurting more than the end of any other relationship. Previous relationships were for over 3 years but it always felt they had run their course.
On top of all this it also means our plans for me to stay in the current country I live in are over and I will have to return home without a job in the New Year. I am now so stressed at the thought of returning home, where I dont really want to be.
Finally I am terrified, I am 32 and want children. It took me so long to meet him I am just scared I am going to be alone :(
Thank you for listening :)
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Relationships
32, single and childless
ihavenonameonhere · 16/08/2013 04:39
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