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What to do about the most amazing woman in the world...

(53 Posts)
Thinker40 Tue 06-Aug-13 16:58:44

Hi All,

40 year old single male here after your wise and honest opinions on what to do about a potential relationship.

Started a new job 3 months ago involving lots of travel abroad. Got posted with the most amazing colleague I could ever have wished for: she's single, similar age, background etc.

We often end up spending at least 16 hours a day together and we've both agreed we have a great time and we often get mistaken for a couple. It's like we're on holiday together rather than working away from home. We're constantly joking and touching each other without any awkwardness and we happily flit in and out of each other's hotel rooms without any awkwardness.

I honestly can't remember the last time I just enjoyed being with someone so much - it doesn't matter what we do as long as we're together - walk, eat, watch traffic etc. I haven't said or 'tried' anything as we're officially colleagues and I really like and respect her. I do give her a deliberately long handshake when we return home for a few days after weeks together which again, she doesn't seem to mind! The longest we've spent apart since meeting is 10 days and we were texting each other at least every other day and then carried on as we were once we went away back to work.

She loves shopping and I've happily spent many(!) hours shopping with her and on looking at jewellery and rings, I've jokingly said we'll be back soon to buy ours and she hasn't objected or said yes or no.

She has said during quiet moments together that she would prefer a man who doesn't smoke, drink 2 pints on most nights and is a little out of shape - ie me but these are all relatively easily fixable right?! I've yet to find a single thing I'd change about her!

My current options are:
a) Carry on as we are and see what happens
b) Tell her I really like her and see what happens? Could be awkward working together if she doesn't feel the same?

I'd appreciate your thoughts - do you think she's interested in me just as a friend or maybe as a potential partner? What I should do next? Or should I just grow up and stop being so pathetically besotted?!

capitola Thu 08-Aug-13 08:22:27

I could never date a smoker, even if he was perfect in every other way.

Agree with those who say she's just not that into you, OP.

haven't read all the replies but my take is:

if i listed things that disinterested me in a man to a man who did/was those things i would clearly be telling him i wasn't interested without saying it outright.

AgathaF Thu 08-Aug-13 08:48:57

I don't think she's that into you either.You are who you are, and I don't think that is what she is looking for at the moment.

Please don't go for a kiss unless she initiates it. Just too embarrassing for words.

I'd drop the little hints too - long handshakes, jokey ring comments - she is probably tolerating them rather than enjoying them.

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