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The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Off To Find The Summer Sun and Sobriety!(1000 Posts)
Hello, I'm Mouse
Welcome to the Bus, take a seat and enjoy the ride. We're a Bus full of drinkers, non-drinkers, those who are trying to give up for life, those who are giving up for a few hours because that's all that they can manage (which is fine!) or quitting just for today......
We don't wear Judgey Pants (they're far too last year darhling ) but we have hugs a plenty and tough love when it's needed. Which isn't often!
So, what have you got to lose? If you're reading this, you're thinking that you are no longer happy with the way you drink, which tells me that this is the Bus for you.
If you'd like to see where we've been so far and what we've been up to, take a peek HERE
And if you want to knnow why we're here in the first place, take a look at THIS THREAD RIGHT HERE
See you soon x
Sending Silver - aka Glad, an enormous hug! Please keep posting. You know that the bus is totally non judgemental and always welcoming. Don't make the mistake I have in thinking that you can only post positive stuff once you appear to have got a hold on this vicious nasty problem. You've done an amazing job re-posting. Stay with us all and let us give you the understanding and support that will help you. The only failure is to give up trying to give up. xxxx
Ladame What sort of chocolate do you have......? x
Hello gladtobeSILVER whatever, wherever, how ever you've been it is always great to see you. And I have never forgotten your huge willingness and support when I was stuck in that Bristol airport.
GladtobeSilver has a nice ring to it my old friend. What Venus said . Lovely to see you.xxx
Thank you purple
venus my lovely lovely friend - I would have done that drive in a heartbeat x
Getting to grips with posting on iPad - not so easy to bold I find - or find any symbols .......
But you know what - I have reached an age where I believe that embracing, rather than rejecting change, is a good thing to to.
However is seem to spend an inordinate amount of time correcting spelling and punctuation mistakes, instead of just getting the general gist across
AND CLEAN THIs FECKING BUS UP
< bunch of miscreants>
Auto correct pretty handy tho
Name change coming up - I may be some time
Thurso - much love to you x
MUMSNET people - FFs - a good twenty minutes wasted there trying to change my name - argh - why won't GladToBeSilver be acceptable...
Think I need to go and rest 😤😡😡
And one thing I can tell you all, from bitter and recent experience, is that
Your eyelids will puff up massively after just a couple of weeks of heavy drinking ( bottle of wine a night)
Those horrible bags under your eyes will pop back out straight away
Your confidence in everything you do, or think about doing, will disappear
Your energy will be sapped and you will feel worthless
You will wAnt to just hide under the duvet and be alone.
It is not a good way to feel
Once you have experienced how good it feels, to not have your whole life ruled and dictated by alcohol, you will realise what you are losing, when you drink again.
Bouncing off the door frame - and not remembering the next day where the bruise came from - just done that and I can pretty much guarantee I won't remember it tomorrow - or indeed, that I ever posted on here this evening..........
Yup, Silver, I hear and understand every word. After over 7 weeks AF, 'something' happened (knowing me, it was something I thought I should be 'rewarded' for! Hollow laugh!) and, in an instance, the drinking level rushes, at break-neck speed, back to a level where it was at the worse time. I love not drinking, I love the wonderful benefits - the weight loss, the clear eyes, the healthier nails and hair, the being organised and on top of things, the financial saving, the weight loss but for me, the biggest and most freeing benefit is the lack of guilt. The freedom to know, each day, that if you do fuck something up, it's a sort of 'honest' fuck up - and not due to alcohol. It's a feeling which leaves me feeling lighter, happier, more in control and like I'm a grown-up. So, having said all that, why, for the love of Jeff, do I slip back down the slippery slope that alcohol is beckoning me down? Deep sigh. x
Thanks to everyone who has welcomed me. I appreciate your kindness and support.
LADAME - good luck for day 3. Me too...not so much of a struggle because I'm a weekend binger (however, my weekends start on Thur and end on Sun!). I know what you mean about feeling better. bright. breezier and of sound mind, so you think, hey...I've over estimated the issue. We had takeaway Thai tonight and I could feel the words 'shall we order some wine' at the back of my throat. Thankfully they stayed there. Hope you make it through to day 4.
VENUS & PURPLE - I feel personally for both of you and I'm sorry that the relationship with your parents didn't make you feel anything other than loved and secure. Parenting is SO different these days (thankfully), isn't it? My mum made me feel like an intruder all my life and beat me black and blue because my dad happened to think I was a nice kid. Now she can't understand why I don't want to be near her. When I'm feeling really low about ti all (which in itself then makes me feel guilty and self absorbed...man, it runs deep), I can kinda get through it by reminding myself that the best part of my horrible upbringing was the daily reminder that I never want my DD to feel that way about her childhood. I want hers to be full of joy and amazing memories - so it makes me try harder and think that just sometimes, good stuff can come out of bad. I recommend this to both of you when you're feeling crummy about your own stuff. It kinda works for me.
LONNIKA - I don't have any birds, but I do feel like there is always someone looking out for me. There MUST be as there is NO WAY I should still be alive and healthy and (relatively) happily married given the way I've lived most of my adult life. I think that we're all quite good people with good hearts...and I can only hope that because of this, we're thrown a few second (third and fourth and fifth and...) chances when we need 'em. Enjoy the feeling, it's nice, huh?
GLAD - Hello, I'm brand new here and blinking my way into the sober daylight as i type. I am so glad you are doing better than this time last year. Whatever your story is, it's given me a little bit of faith that a) I can do it too and b) I'm in the right place when I need a wee bit of (web based) hug. Thank you for affirming this in your post. It helped me.
Finally - sorry for the big ramble, but I wanted to give a wee bit back, because you've been so nice to the newbie.
Sorry also for the block caps, don't know how to do the stupid bold asterix thing. Think it might be because I'm on a mac.
And, yes, Silver those bruises people ask you about - that you have no recollection of - and you have to make things up. Read back in the morning, Sweetpea, gain strength from the fact you had the courage to reach out and take it from there. A new, clean, clear day to do with what you decide. A new start? You've done it before and you can bloody do it again (me? hypocrite! Yup. ) Do as I say, not as I do. Hugs and positivity Silver. This thing is huge and shit but don't let it define you Lovely. xxxxx
Hi Chip, thanks for the comments. It sounds like you are trying, and succeeding, to be a far better parent than you were dumped with. Like you, I'm trying to break the mould with my three. I've made mistakes and had to lean 'on the hoof' - having no good role models to work from - but I think I'm doing better than my parents and it is possible. Hugs.
Thanks Chip xxxx
Big hugs to all xxxxxx.
FFs just wrote lost and lost it
purple - just wow and thank you , it means a lot to me
chips. I will read back now - but you know what - if I can do it, then ther is hope for all of us X
To know that someone else realises exactly where I'm coming from.....
The fucking GUILT is the killer
Every minute of every day x
Going back to touch typing on lap lap top - (shows age)
See what happened there (upwards pointing arrow)
AND WILL YOU LOT CLEAN THIS BUS UP
< I am very disappointed in you all>.
Silver We do know where you're coming from. For me, if I'm drinking too much, every little, stupid thing I fail at/mess up is loaded with guilt because I'm drinking. It may have fuck all to do with the alcohol but every, little, big, horrible, embarrassing thing, when I'm drinking, is magnified by about a thousand percent - because I feel I brought it on myself. Guilt is an all permeating, nagging, ghastly, self depreciating bloody feeling. As I said, being free of that feeling is amazing and I can't friggin' understand why I don't seem to be able to sustain the effort to keep it going. Have lots of water tonight and try and get a decent amount of sleep. I'm going to mail you tomorrow to see how you've been and how you feel. xxxxxx
GLAD / SILVER - I know what you mean about guilt - it feels like it's eating you alive. From the inside out. Most of it isn't even logical but it's just there, always tapping you on the shoulder. I know..
Just know that one day it will pass and you'll feel like you can breathe a bit better. It will. Because it has to.
You don't deserve to live under a cloud of guilt. None of us do. xxxx
I am very aware, brave babes, that I do this thing - jump in,comment, etc etc, then I fuck off never to be seen again for ages.
It is why I find it so hard to post in the first place
Internet forums are great - until, like me, you start feeling guilty about starting something you won't finish.
But you know what - if I was sober then my thoughts wouldn't go there in the first place
A simple word but a huge emotion x
Chip and purple
I think as long as we are drinking we will always feel guilty ....
Off to bed xxx
One more thing - and I promise it will be the last
To all brave babes
My life is SO MUCH BETTER without alcohol
Yours could and will be too
It is scary at first but stick with it
It is worth it - so very worth it x
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