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The Dating Thread - episode 60

(1000 Posts)
Djangounhinged Wed 31-Jul-13 17:21:11

If I may?

lurkinglorna Fri 09-Aug-13 21:43:35

married guy who contacted me last week is back

backstory - chatted for a bit on pof, suggested a sooinsh meet which i was up for, i google stalked his profession and name and lo and behold his wife and son shock so i just cancelled the meet with a conservative excuse.

his photo pops up and down regularly, so i guess he hides his pic until he's trying to set up a meet. also he checked how long i have lived in x city, presumably afraid of shared acquaintances.

hmmmm....does anyone ever write back and say "fuck you dude"? angry what are pros and cons?

48howdidthathappen Fri 09-Aug-13 21:42:17

Mr R&R is never ready when I arrive at his house. So we always ending up chatting in the bathroom while he takes a bath.

I love it smile

grinchie Fri 09-Aug-13 21:36:10

Moan as I'm a bit devilish I would have to start turning up late too!
I would start with 15 minutes and see who was first, then 20 minutes so he was (hopefully) waiting for me for 5 minutes and so on wink

Moanranger Fri 09-Aug-13 21:33:08

Grinchie we are a long way from any living together scenario, but not sure about the dithering, yet. It seems to vary. I have to get a better handle on it.
In contrast, my STBXH was always early & planned everything months in advance, so Iam kind of used to that - entirely lacking in spontaneity, however! So my current post-split rebellion is to book nothing, show up & hope for the best.

Overtheraenbow Fri 09-Aug-13 21:24:20

Mr IT has just text and asked me for a second date !!
I met him on OKC and have a date with Mr Jazz from the site next week too, so either I am fabulous or the pickings round here's a bit scarce !! ( being ironic as think it must be the second in truth!!) grin

grinchie Fri 09-Aug-13 21:22:34

Bant Ironman was a definite 3.5-4 on first meeting, on second he was a definite 4, on the third a 5. He was my first date post marriage split and I was so nervous that my bullsh*t antennae were all over the place, there was no way I was seeing clearly so he I wouldn’t have trusted my judgement to get him to a clear 4.
I think they could be split into sub levels, as with school levels ie 4a, b, c with 4a being the highest sub level of the 4s.

Hi justme I wouldn’t stay overnight, even in a Travelodge because there would be too much potential for me to be vulnerable.

Moan lateness and dithering would drive me mad, I suppose it depends what you want eventually? Myself, I couldn’t tolerate living with a ditherer – could you?

Hi Gin, my tip no 1 would be not to use the same pics od and on your website if that makes you easily traceable by someone doing on online search? Pm me a link and I’ll take a look if you like?

Hello Geordie

Oh Ham, I’m sorry. I’m hoping it’s over now and the night is still young......

Winefiend Fri 09-Aug-13 21:20:48

Also, I'm with 48 on the snazzy kitchen front - kettle and toaster and I'm happy.

Bathrooms on the other hand are my obsession atm (mainly as I really want a new one). Anyone have any bathroom porn they can send across? (Nice bathrooms, not actual porn like)

Winefiend Fri 09-Aug-13 21:17:24

I am also at a loose end at the mo and happy to give honest feedback gin - and others!

Seconded what Nora said above, fingers crossed all is well for ham

KinNora Fri 09-Aug-13 21:11:46

Gin feel free to pm if I can be of help, of course, anyone else too especially if you have a marvellous kitchen

Ham hope things aren't as bad as you expected

MsApprehension Fri 09-Aug-13 21:07:06

Ooh I'm always happy to give profile feedback, feel free to PM gin

lurkinglorna Fri 09-Aug-13 21:02:21

Hamwidge thanks hope you're ok

Kirstywirsty Fri 09-Aug-13 21:01:08

gin you can pm me your profile name if you like

lurkinglorna Fri 09-Aug-13 20:58:06

feel free to pm me a link ginocchio or any others smile

Bant Fri 09-Aug-13 20:53:42

OK Vipers, you're needed on this. Ginocchio sent me the link to his POF profile and to be honest I quite fancy him. And I'm a straight bloke.

I really can't see many ways to improve the profile from my point of view but I really don't have much experience in looking at mens profiles.

Gin maybe OWW, Kin, Lorna and others can help out? I can't be of much use here, sorry. It seems honest, witty (a little corny in places maybe but so is mine cos I like corny). But maybe not alpha-male enough? I dunno. You can see mine on POF as I'm probably the only bloked that's viewed your profile recently. Nick stuff if you want (not my photos)

48howdidthathappen Fri 09-Aug-13 20:22:46

Moan Mr R&R is always late. He has got a lot better. It doesn't bother me at all.

I have told him though if we ever have a plane to catch, he is on his own.

Moanranger Fri 09-Aug-13 20:03:26

Thanks, lurking, DFU, wine, OWW & mercury for your response. Since posting have been thinking about it, and feel a little less concerned. I think the issue is respect for each other's style. He is not so late when he knows there is a deadline, but can be quite late if there isn't a specific time.
He takes ages to decide on some things ( like buying an expensive consumer item), but quicker when needs must.
I am also concerned about my style of decision-making which is rather quick.
Having said that, I probably need someone to sit on my chest and slow me down; he probably needs the opposite. See how it goes...

Ginocchio Fri 09-Aug-13 19:40:59

OhWestern and there's a thread in AIBU with the background to the MN date, started by TotallyEggFlipped. it should come up if you search because I'm too embarrassed to link to it

Ginocchio Fri 09-Aug-13 19:37:16

OhWestern yes, have pics up. they're not the best, but I'm about to get some sexy new headshots done for my website, so it might make a difference when I put them on.

bant if that offer was directed to me, then thanks! I'll pm you a link shortly if that's ok?

48howdidthathappen Fri 09-Aug-13 19:24:37

As long as a kitchen contains a kettle I'm happy.

Just saying grin

Bant Fri 09-Aug-13 19:00:20

I have an hour or so later to review profiles. PM me your site and profile name or a link. DFU is happy to give another blokes point of view too I think?

And it's always useful to get another woman's point of view. Especially about kitchens, apparently...

OhWesternWind Fri 09-Aug-13 18:54:52

I had no luck at all with okc either Gin but maybe your profile could do with a tweak if nothing's occurring - plenty of people on here happy to advise if you want. Do you have photos up as I know a lot of people don't contact people with no pictures?

How the MN-inspired date go? (And just out of nosiness, how did that come about???)

Ginocchio Fri 09-Aug-13 18:44:44

OhWestern well, I've been on POF and OKC for a couple of months, with not so much as a "how'd you do" for my efforts.

I did actually go on a date (a date!) courtesy of an MN thread a few weeks ago, which was nice.

I'm determined this time to meet new people, as this is the first time I've done "dating", rather than getting together with a colleague / housemate...

OhWesternWind Fri 09-Aug-13 18:42:53

Good luck Ham hope it all works out. Hugs.

Shortly going on the dinner date during which I think I might be dumped. *pukes. That's all.

OhWesternWind Fri 09-Aug-13 18:17:46

Hi Gin and welcome to the thread. What stage of dipping have you got to?

Welcome too Minx! People on here will help with your profile and give advice on anything to want. I think it helps to have an idea of what type of relationship you're looking for before you start (casual, long term etc), meet up sooner rather than later, and realise it gets much easier as you go on and the nerves fade away. There are plenty of bad dates but more importantly lots of good ones where people have met someone great. Good luck.

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