I ran away from dangerous h in 2003 when dds were 0 and 2. They have no direct experience of his abuse.
Since then, I have always made sure that any contact takes place in a contact centre (many reasons, one being that I don't trust him to safely return them, and he lives normally in Nigeria so it would be extremely hard to get them back to safety).
Apart from the contact centre, I have made no other stipulations or ever prevented him from seeing them or otherwise contacting them.
His last visit to them was about 6 years ago.
Very occasionally he calls them and has sent them money every so often (with gaps of literally years!)
He is still abusive towards me if he gets the tiniest chance so I have blocked his email and I refuse to deal directly with him - he needs to make arrangements via solicitor (no prob for him financially; he's loaded)
The thing now is that I have heard from sources that he is in the uk and wants to see the dds. He has stated that he will not use a contact centre.
The reason I know is that he called the minister of my church and sent an email. I was informed of this and I suggested that he be reminded (think broken record) that if he wants to arrange contact he needs to contact his solicitor.
About 5 years ago he took me to court about contact and the outcome was clear - he has to use a contact centre.
I hope you have made it this far...
Today I arrive home to find that I have missed a recorded delivery letter addressed to my dds (now 10 and 12). I know for certain what he will have written. He will be asking them if they want to see him not in a CC.
Now I don't know what to so for the best. I will have to fetch the letter and give it to them. They may well state that they do want to see him not in a CC. They have no experience of the truth about him because they've been protected all their lives.
However, if I insist on the CC, I look like the controlling one.
I know that ex wishes to paint me as a vengeful and bitter ex but my ONLY desire is to keep my dds safe.
What shall I do?
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Relationships
Abusive ex has reared his ugly head again :(. Need advice please!
85 replies
mosp · 31/07/2013 15:26
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