Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

I make him miserable

(30 Posts)
Dylanlovesbaez Sat 20-Jul-13 14:53:59

Dp hates me. He tells me often enough and how he can't stand living with me. We have a 15 month old sd a d when i say this is no life her he tells me im selfish. He 'works' from home and is just always around. He has no friends, doesn't talk about anything and does not handle stress well at all. I have no money, where do I go and what do I do? There's so much more than this, I need to be loved and cared for. Fed up with feeling worthless.

Dylanlovesbaez Sat 20-Jul-13 15:59:21

All of you are totally right in what you are saying but I can't help but think it must be down to me in some way. I guess it will take a bit of time to get out of that mindset. Might be stupid but I'd worry about him if we went, he has nobody.

chillybits Sat 20-Jul-13 16:06:52

You aren't a failure, you aren't the bully. Recognising that and moving on for your daughter's sake and your own is the very opposite of failing.

CogitoErgoSometimes Sat 20-Jul-13 16:17:33

You think it's down to you because he tells you that it's down to you. Andy Murray's training includes sessions with coaches and sports psychologists telling him 'you're a champion!'... and he's won the game before he's even stepped on the court. You've got someone spending all day every day saying 'I'm normal, you're worthless and if I treat you badly, it's your fault'. It's bound to screw you up.

The only way to get out of that mindset is to put a lot of distance between you and the abuser. If you walked out today and cut contact, I guarantee that two or three months from now you would wake up one morning, slap your hand to your forehead and go 'what the hell was I thinking!'

Twinklestein Sat 20-Jul-13 16:23:55

When I said "it will work out" I meant your life not the relationship. shock

In fact, for your life to work out, I'd say the relationship has to end.

Twinklestein Sat 20-Jul-13 16:25:47

Well there's a reason he has nobody OP... & only he can fix that.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now