brief background or will bore you all to tears.......
I seperated 2 years ago and divorced 10 months ago - very long marriage of 25 years with three children 17,14,10.
my new partner and I have been together 1 year. However we have known each other for nearly 20 years. He seperated from his wife 6 months or so before we got together and they are now going through a very messy divorce. he has 3 children too aged 13,10,6.
My partner and I live with my 3 children APART from when he has his children then he goes back to the rented house that he moved into when he seperated.
His STB Ex is the issue. She knows that we are together and does not want me to see their children. His boys do not even know that we are a couple or that their dad even has a GF as he is concerned about how they will take it and is frightened that they will not want to see him anymore. Each time that he tries to talk to his Ex she flares up and threatens to not allow the boys to see him.
I understand that it is perhaps still early days for her but they have been split up for 18 months and surely life for my partner must be allowed to continue. Surely she cannot dictate to him when he may be free to see someone. I understand that it was he who chose to leave the marriage and I know that like me he fought for a very long time to keep the marriage together for the sake of the children but eventually he thought the same as me "you only get one life - and what sort of messages are we showing our children about living in a loveless marraige" so he finally left. He was distraught at leaving the family home as he is really close to his boys and they adore him and love spending time with him.
However we are so desperately wanting to start the blending process of introducing me to the boys and then mixing the children together. We have empty bedrooms waiting for them for them and my children are so looking forward to meeting them.
How do we do this when their mother is so anti this????
We are both so upset at living this double life.
We are a couple yet when it comes to family/friends get-togethers/children's birthdays/my partners birthday/weekends/holidays we can't see each other or share these events as for us it's a NO GO situation. We have two lives going on really - one with my children and then him with his own ...........
interested to hear anyones thoughts/advice on this please.
Thanks
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Relationships
to blend or not to blend - that is the question!!!!!
8isgood · 20/07/2013 12:32
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