Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Help me,i don't know where to start?

(7 Posts)
stacy100 Fri 19-Jul-13 21:04:12

I am a newbie, I have been married for 5 years to my husband who is 19 years older than me!! I am not been happy for 3 years at least, i have a 16 year old son from a previous relationship and he is my life.
He doesn't really like his step dad much as he is moaned at by him on a regular basis about stupid things that don't matter! My problem is my husband prefers his beer and sport, we don't go out or socialize and we may go for a meal once every 6 months! He doesn't help with housework,gardening,decorating or dog walking, i do it all. I only get to have a conversation with him in the morning for 15 mins before work other times he's drunk and aggressive! He made me have 2 jobs to his one so i wouldn't be home as much for my son which i have now figured out! my son lives in his room as he hasn't anywhere else to sit and i hate my husband but can't leave as guess what? he controls the money.

dollius Fri 19-Jul-13 21:06:39

Dump him (the H, not the DS, obis)

Twinklestein Fri 19-Jul-13 21:10:12

Financial control can be part of domestic abuse.

http://www.womensaid.org.uk/domestic_violence_topic.asp?section=0001000100220049%A7ionTitle=Financial

You have 2 jobs - you have an income - do you not have your own bank account?

Twinklestein Fri 19-Jul-13 21:10:32
Twinklestein Fri 19-Jul-13 22:22:11

Has he ever been violent Stacey?

CogitoErgoSometimes Fri 19-Jul-13 22:41:20

You can leave.

I'd recommend you get some legal advice either from a solicitor or CAB and also support the idea to call Women's Aid as it sounds like an abusive relationship from which you and your DS need to make a sharp exit. There are several things in your favour here. You're married which means you have certain legal rights to property and money in the event of a divorce. You also have two jobs which means that all you need do to be financially independent is open a bank account and get your wages and any other income paid into it.

You can leave

Xales Fri 19-Jul-13 22:43:44

Open your own bank account and have your salary transferred into there. Then your H cannot control you through finance.

You can then get yourself and your DS out of this situation.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now