Note: Mumsnetters don't necessarily have the qualifications or experience to offer relationships counselling or to provide help in cases of domestic violence. Mumsnet can't be held responsible for any advice given on the site. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Snooped and found out he cheated 3 days into our relationship :(

(35 Posts)
SlumberingDormouse Wed 17-Jul-13 20:20:43

I know I shouldn't have done it, and I wish I could unknow what I now know... but I can't.

In DP's archived FB messages was a message from a girl complaining about how he'd had sex with her in a toilet and then left her there. He apologised, saying he was very drunk. I looked back and all the dates match up with my text messages so he definitely did it. This was three days after we made our relationship official. sad

What the actual fuck do I do? I'm trying to act normal while I plan but I'm shaking and don't think I can hide it much longer.

SlumberingDormouse Wed 17-Jul-13 22:49:56

I am ok thanks and not hurt - though embarrassingly, someone came out of their house and asked what was going on. I'm now feeling really, really sad.

Somethingtothinkabout Wed 17-Jul-13 22:57:14

Awww Doormouse sad You've done the right thing, definitely. He's reacted exactly how someone who has no respect and will never take responsibility for their actions does, lie and try and wriggle out of it and admit only the bare minimum you can prove.

Better to know now then find out years later when you're even more tied to him.

Doha Wed 17-Jul-13 22:57:33

Of course your sad. Your DP was not the person he pretended to be and you future is not want you thought it would be.
But
be glad you found out now rather than a few years down the line.

Be kind to yourself and you are allowed to feel sorry for yourself for a while ( l will give you to Sunday wink).
The best revenge is to live well.

Snazzyenjoyingsummer Wed 17-Jul-13 23:00:13

That's awful - as you have said yourself it's not the act by itself but the deception and willingness to risk your health, plus now attacking you! that are deal breakers here. But it's very understandable for you to be sad. Can you ring someone you know IRL and talk it through?

Apileofballyhoo Wed 17-Jul-13 23:07:09

Definitely better to find out now but I'm sorry this happened to you flowers

Lweji Portugal Wed 17-Jul-13 23:14:41

Lucky escape, really.

Good for you for dumping him.

SlumberingDormouse Wed 17-Jul-13 23:39:54

I rang my mum and am feeling much better. Thanks for all the support; I really appreciate it :-)

Just caught up. Well done you flowers

perfectstorm Thu 18-Jul-13 00:55:07

Seconding the "well done" for having the strength to end it. And I'm so sorry it was necessary.

ImperialBlether England Thu 18-Jul-13 01:00:17

I'm sorry you've gone through that tonight but you've done exactly the right thing. He's a lying, cheating prick and he doesn't deserve you.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now