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Victim of domestic violence asked to leave holiday park!

(243 Posts)

Ill try and keep this as concise as possible.

I'm on holiday in Wales staying in a caravan. Last night about 11pm an argument started between a couple in the caravan nearby. I say argument but it was mostly a man shouting.

It quickly escalated and the women was screaming, she sounded terrified, and there were children screaming "mummy" too.

At this point I phone the police. Very quickly the security guards from the site turned up. The woman was sobbing , said she was ok and the security guards quickly left.

As soon as they'd gone the man left the caravan. Moments later the police turned up. They spent some time searching the site but eventually the man was found and arrested.

This morning the women was sat outside the caravan and I went over to check she was ok. She has a broken nose! sad the caravan was a bit messed up too. Several internal doors were off their hinges.

We talked for a while and she told me she'd been asked to leave the holiday park!! I Wa stunned at this but she said she was going to leave anyway as her and the dc didn't want to be there after everything that had happened the night before.

I couldn't stop thinking about her being told to leave and later that day I went to speak to the general manager of the site.

He confirmed that yes she had been asked to leaved because they had a zero tolerance policy on violent behaviour.

I pointed out to him that it was the man who had been violent, he'd assaulted the women, she is basically being punished for being the victim of a crime and by asking her to leave they were implying that she was in some way to blame for the mans behaviour.

We talked about it for quite a while and I tried several different ways to get my point across. To be fair he did really listen to me and tried to understand but basically he didn't get it.

He also trotted out the usually ill informed stereo types "women like that never want to press charges" etc.

I'm so angry. In one way does it really matter because she wanted to go home anyway?

But on the other hand if we don't challenge such ignorant attitudes towards domestic violence then nothing is ever going to change. I feel like I want to do something to make the holiday park realise how wrong their attitude is.

Sorry if this is a bit jumbled. Trying to keep it as short as possible.

Msbluebozooka Sat 20-Jul-13 22:53:53

Soz had to get that off my chest after reading what Quint posted earlier was reading thread way down the line and am really angry

AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore Sat 20-Jul-13 23:36:42

I am disgusted but not surprised by some of the posts on this thread.

Even without the update, people should be supportive of that woman without making judgements.

Clementine - you showed the way a decent person would act in this situation. Thank god it was you nearby, and not some of these other posters. hmm

There is obviously a serious need for many posters to educate themselves more about DV.

minkembernard Sun 21-Jul-13 21:39:20

<pops in to look round to see if those who had so many opinions earlier have come back. leaves in disgust. >

gamerchick Mon 22-Jul-13 08:02:14

* minkembernard Sun 21-Jul-13 21:39:20

<pops in to look round to see if those who had so many opinions earlier have come back. leaves in disgust. >*

Whats with the no quote function.. are we in the frigging dark ages?

Well I'd left the thread.. once you start to feel like you're babysitting and not getting paid for it, you're on a hiding to nothing. smile

gamerchick Mon 22-Jul-13 08:15:57

*Bit if an update. I'd left my mobile number with the woman and she actually phoned me this afternoon to say Thankyou and she told me a bit about the circumstances leading upto the attack.

In a nut shell: this man had been to prison for a previous assault on her. He was released a few months ago. In her home town she has a lot of family support including two brothers.

She'd gone away on her own with her dc to get away from everything for a few weeks.

He'd managed, through Facebook they think, to find out where she was going on. He turned up at the site, the first time she saw him was when she was at the play area with the kids. She thinks he must have been hanging about there knowing with 4 dc she'd definately be there at some point in the day.

He'd followed her back to the caravan and hung around trying to win her round. Things slowly turned into an argument and the rest is history.

So he wasn't on the booking! He wasn't even a guest on the park. The manager never told me that bit!!*

You still didn't answer my question about offering to share your van and pay for the damages so they could continue their holiday? Which has been your point all along hasn't it?

Well that sorry have to add the if it's true thing in here changes things slightly doesn't it?! See the difference in that post compared to your first. hmm However my mindset hasn't changed when it comes to the managers decision. I haven't been commenting on the woman and her issues all along.

And give over with the victim blaming bollocks.. there was one, maybe two posts near the beginning of the thread.. people can have a different opinion without namecalling and running to mummy to tell. wink

OP.. it's very admirable that you want to help, you are very nice. It's nice that she has a willing listening ear and a friend to listen to her. I do hope she manages to get rid of the idiot soon.

flippinada Mon 22-Jul-13 09:24:25

How is that the point?

lissieloo Mon 22-Jul-13 09:51:22

hmm

K8Middleton Mon 22-Jul-13 09:54:53

the woman and her issues

She did not punch herself in the face. It is the perpetrator who has issues.

On a not unrelated note, I do wish the hard of thinking wouldn't post. Invariably it is the thick as mince posts that get picked up by the media and then we all look like ignorant bigots sad

Silverfoxballs Mon 22-Jul-13 10:15:13

Well done Clem

Reading through this thread reminds me of why I didn't tell anyone that my ex used to beat me and why I lied when I got a black eye when he kicked me in the head. It has taken me almost 18 years for me to tell anyone about what happened to me.

The poor woman would probably have gone home anyway but being told you have to leave just makes you think that somehow it is your fault.
Reading through some of the posts on her is depressing.

Silverfoxballs Mon 22-Jul-13 10:15:43

Here not her

OddSockMonster Mon 22-Jul-13 10:48:01

Thanks for updating Clementine.

Good to know she has family round her, hope she find some peace away from him for good some day soon.

chamonixlover Mon 22-Jul-13 13:52:39

Same here Silverfoxballs. Now I have told the truth... here are a few comments

"X had his reasons for beating you up" - from father-in-law

"is this not just a communication problem?" - from someone who had heard through the grapevine about passer-by intervening on public beating when I was stuck scrunched up protecting one of the children from a similar fate. Yeh my child and me, we did it to ourselves didn't we, it was just lack of communication which caused it!!!

I despair.

lissieloo Mon 22-Jul-13 13:58:59

shock sad

God forbid the poor men should take responsibility! I mean, come on, it's clearly the woman's fault for not behaving exactly as required.

chamonixlover Mon 22-Jul-13 14:15:26

oh another one which made me laugh, despite 3 statements of admission of guilt and pending conviction with independent witness statement

"I only have your word for it that you weren't responsible" - from friend of perpetrator.

Maybe we should start a thread containing all the stupid victim bashing quotes.

lissieloo Mon 22-Jul-13 20:19:05
betterthanever Mon 22-Jul-13 22:35:03

Thanks for the link Lissie.

lissieloo Mon 22-Jul-13 22:44:33

No problem, and thank you for posting in support thanks

Silverfoxballs Tue 23-Jul-13 10:28:43

chamonix rubbish isn't it, even people that are supposed to love you like my Mum saying, you must have annoyed him!

There was a thread about abusers being charming and stereotypes being a problem. My ex does not look like a thug and appears totally respectable with his high flying job. He is still a thug and a violent bully just one in a suit.

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