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Victim of domestic violence asked to leave holiday park!

(243 Posts)

Ill try and keep this as concise as possible.

I'm on holiday in Wales staying in a caravan. Last night about 11pm an argument started between a couple in the caravan nearby. I say argument but it was mostly a man shouting.

It quickly escalated and the women was screaming, she sounded terrified, and there were children screaming "mummy" too.

At this point I phone the police. Very quickly the security guards from the site turned up. The woman was sobbing , said she was ok and the security guards quickly left.

As soon as they'd gone the man left the caravan. Moments later the police turned up. They spent some time searching the site but eventually the man was found and arrested.

This morning the women was sat outside the caravan and I went over to check she was ok. She has a broken nose! sad the caravan was a bit messed up too. Several internal doors were off their hinges.

We talked for a while and she told me she'd been asked to leave the holiday park!! I Wa stunned at this but she said she was going to leave anyway as her and the dc didn't want to be there after everything that had happened the night before.

I couldn't stop thinking about her being told to leave and later that day I went to speak to the general manager of the site.

He confirmed that yes she had been asked to leaved because they had a zero tolerance policy on violent behaviour.

I pointed out to him that it was the man who had been violent, he'd assaulted the women, she is basically being punished for being the victim of a crime and by asking her to leave they were implying that she was in some way to blame for the mans behaviour.

We talked about it for quite a while and I tried several different ways to get my point across. To be fair he did really listen to me and tried to understand but basically he didn't get it.

He also trotted out the usually ill informed stereo types "women like that never want to press charges" etc.

I'm so angry. In one way does it really matter because she wanted to go home anyway?

But on the other hand if we don't challenge such ignorant attitudes towards domestic violence then nothing is ever going to change. I feel like I want to do something to make the holiday park realise how wrong their attitude is.

Sorry if this is a bit jumbled. Trying to keep it as short as possible.

arthriticfingers Wed 17-Jul-13 18:53:57

Can I just say 'Well done!' and 'Thank you' These are the kind of steps that will slowly increase understanding of abuse.

Darkesteyes Wed 17-Jul-13 18:55:22

That is absolutely disgusting treatment of the victim of a crime. Which holiday park was it I understand if you dont want to say.

gamerchick Wed 17-Jul-13 18:55:41

Its probably their policy. They caused a disruption, police were called and a caravan was damaged. The who's, what's and whys are irrelevant.. If they had let her stay then he may have come back. Police tooing and frowing police are bad for image. They are not obliged to protect this woman from her partner.

Sad but the way it is.

ImperialBlether Wed 17-Jul-13 18:56:11

That is so dreadful. The poor woman and the poor children, too, both witnessing that attack on their mother and losing their holiday, too. They must have looked forward to that for so long.

And now she has to go back home, where he is. Absolutely shocking. I imagine she didn't want to stay because it was so obvious what had happened to her and because she'd cop for it if she had a holiday and he didn't.

I guess the manager felt that as long as she had stayed with the husband and gone on holiday with him, she was enabling his violent behaviour, and as such guilty of letting the children grow up in a violent environment, so partly to blame?

I suppose the manager felt that he needed to spearhead a case that NO violence is acceptable, and as long as she kept her children in a violent family, she was part of the problem?

Not saying he is right. I am on the fence on that. Just trying to understand his way of thinking.

ananikifo Wed 17-Jul-13 18:56:33

How awful. Write a review on the caravan park's website.

Darkesteyes Wed 17-Jul-13 18:56:42

Yes Seconded. Well done for speaking up and trying to get through to an obstinate arse.

ImperialBlether Wed 17-Jul-13 18:56:45

But none of them even knew whether she'd been attacked by him before, did they?

Half of me what's to name and shame them but I wary of giving out and details that could identify the woman.

ImperialBlether Wed 17-Jul-13 18:57:30

You're right. Don't do that.

I guess it is a case of protecting their other holiday makers too?

Did you not at all worry that you and your children would get involved? That she would run across to yours, and have her husband chase after her?

A violent man on the lose in a holiday park is not really on. I also think as long as she stayed there, he might come back, and take revenge on both her, the caravan, and even the manger, or people who had phoned the police.

Darkesteyes Wed 17-Jul-13 18:58:39

Good point Didnt think of that. Sorry my anger took over a bit there.

Also, she was covering for him when the security guards knocked, did she not? So covering up criminal damage to the caravan, and therefore colluding with her partner.

I did try to explain to him that maybe she was still with him out of fear for what would happen if she left.

From what the manager said the man was on probation(?) and so has been returned to jail.

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE Wed 17-Jul-13 18:59:59

Well done Clem you did a wonderful thing. If only it was as simple as leaving.

"Write a review on the caravan park's website."

That would be such a stupid and vindictive thing to do.

Say what? The holiday park tried to protect their guests by removing people causing altercations, and this is a bad thing??

This women was terrified of her partner. I have never heard fear like that before in my whole life. When the security guards asked her if she was ok this man was stood inches from her.

ananikifo Wed 17-Jul-13 19:03:48

I think people should know the policies of the park. I would avoid them based on this story, while obviously there are others who think it's a completely appropriate way to behave towards domestic violence survivors. I don't see why its vindictive if it's the truth and the park's manager admits and defends his decision.

Question for you quint. If I came on here and said a random holiday maker had been attacked by a stranger on the site and then was asked to leave the next morning you would think it was unjust that the victim was asked to leave, yes? Why is it any different in this case?

HE is entirely responsible for his own behaviour. HE attacked her and broke her nose. How is she in anyway to blame for that?

I told the manager that the only thing that would stop me visiting the park again was the way they were treating this women.

flippinada Wed 17-Jul-13 19:09:27

Well done Clementine, we could with more people like you.

Quint I expect the poor woman was probably terrified.

I dont think you can compare a stranger being attacked by a random criminal, and a woman choosing to let her children grow up with domestic violence.
It is a holiday park. Not a charity. They would need to repair their caravan. They would not be able to let the caravan until it was repaired, and could not repair it until the woman had left.

Or do you think it is fair for the next guest to be told "sorry we need to cancel the booking as the previous guest smashed it up and we could not repair it until they had vacated at the end of their holiday?"

gamerchick Wed 17-Jul-13 19:10:37

It doesn't matter why.. The facts are facts. The manager isn't obligated to look too deeply into it.

It'll be made clear that any damage to the caravan or other part of the site and the guests responsible would be asked to leave. That doesn't just apply to one member of the party, but all of them.

Emotion doesn't come into it.

She may have been terrified, and she may even have been terrified for the umpteenth time. It does not give her a right to ruin other peoples holidays.

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