Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

If you were to pass on just one piece of relationship advice to your DC....

(132 Posts)
CogitoErgoSometimes Mon 15-Jul-13 15:58:31

... distilled from your own experience, observation, or what you've read on MN and elsewhere, What would it be?

On balance, I think mine would be 'be yourself' in the sense of ... be very wary of getting together with anyone for whom you feel you have to change personality or who openly wants you to behave differently in order for them to love you. If they don't love you for yourself, move swiftly along.

Treat your partner in the same manor which you would expect to be treated - learn not to raise your voice or use profanities or unkind words.

Vickibee Mon 15-Jul-13 16:01:08

they wouldn't take any notice!

CogitoErgoSometimes Mon 15-Jul-13 16:10:55

Kids not taking any notice of the wrinklies is a given Vickibee.... smile But it's nice to theorise.

HotDAMNlifeisgood Mon 15-Jul-13 16:12:08

You deserve to be treated with kindness and respect. (Treat others with kindness and respect too, obviously. But just make sure that YOU are receiving the respect you deserve)

Don't waste time and energy on people who only have one toe in the relationship, but keep you dangling anyway for their own convenience or their own messed up reasons. Again, you deserve better than that. Walk on.

flipchart Mon 15-Jul-13 16:12:58

Be like your dad and you won't go far wrong.

BabCNesbitt Mon 15-Jul-13 16:13:54

I'm not sure that I would have taken any words of advice from my mother about relationships because for decades my parents have provided a model of exactly what I don't want a relationship to be. I'd just be open to giving advice if asked, and otherwise try (with DH!) to provide an example of what a decent relationship might look like. (NB not a perfect one - seeing how disputes can be resolved reasonably calmly and how people can make up without sulking for days or bitching about each other to the DC also helpful!)

amessageforyouYoni Mon 15-Jul-13 16:15:24

Dont take advice unsolicited advice on relationships from people grin

lurkingfromhome Mon 15-Jul-13 16:15:34

Don't put up with any behaviour from a partner that you wouldn't from a platonic friend, family member, colleague or random stranger. Your partner should be the one who treats you better than anyone else.

And, conversely, don't treat your partner with any less respect than you would show to a platonic friend, family member, colleague or random stranger. Be kind.

exexpat Mon 15-Jul-13 16:15:55

I think I'd say pretty much what you'd say, Cogito. Certainly it's what I realised about my own relationships.

OddSockMonster Mon 15-Jul-13 16:17:39

Be kind to others and know that you deserve the same back. Don't lie, respect others' feelings, and know you have the right to truth and respect back.

PlainOldVanilla Mon 15-Jul-13 16:20:24

To never let any one make you feel like your not good enough the way you are.

MulliganandOHare Mon 15-Jul-13 16:24:27

Be unlike your dad and you won't go far wrong...

Do the right thing.

Don't be too concerned with what you think other people think about you.

NoComet Mon 15-Jul-13 16:26:17

I'd pass on my DDad's "humans are programmed to fall in love, make sure you like the person first"

The first time he scares you or you feel physically threatened, leave, walk away, run as fast as you can.

For some reason, this lesson seems to be one learned in later life. I certainly wouldn't tolerate the behaviour of several of my exes nowadays.

PeppermintPasty Mon 15-Jul-13 16:37:23

I would say, don't imagine that you can "fix" someone, they are what they are. Don't hang on like grim death ignoring your gut instincts.

Poledra Mon 15-Jul-13 16:37:40

If you're planning to have children with a man, look very carefully at the size of his head.

I'm too late with that one for my DDs - they all inherited their father's bonce <wince emoticon>

chamonixlover Mon 15-Jul-13 16:42:23

don't have children, I wish I hadn't

Poledra Mon 15-Jul-13 16:47:53

Sorry, have posted frivolously on a serious thread. My apologies.

HeadFairy Mon 15-Jul-13 16:49:07

Treat your partner in exactly the same way you wish to be treated. Actually that's not a bad philosophy for life in general.

RabbitFromAHat Mon 15-Jul-13 16:51:05

Always have enough money of your own to walk away.

ShatterResistant Mon 15-Jul-13 16:53:10

My mum has spent my entire life giving me excellent relationship advice. It's only now that I am happily married that I realise she was right all along! I will be telling my (5 month old) daughter that if you have to work at it less than 2 years in, it's almost certainly not worth the effort.

Talk, don't accuse. Finger pointing causes arguments, but talking, sharing, and being kind about it saves relationships.

CogitoErgoSometimes Mon 15-Jul-13 16:55:33

Wasn't necessarily a serious thread Poledra smile The head-size thing is something I wish I'd paid attention to. <pelvic floor sagging at the memory>

VodkaJelly Mon 15-Jul-13 17:06:31

Always earn your own money, never ever become finacially dependent on another person.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now