I'm not sure whether to give this to him or not. I can't have a conversation with him about any of this as it always ends in a row. I am getting sick to death of it though. I am a happy optimistic person and I feel after 12 years I am getting dragged down. I think he suffers from depression, but won't go to the doctors about it. I think what I want to result from this letter is either he changes (not sure how likely this is), or we separate. To be honest, I'm not sure which I would prefer at the moment. Just at the end of my tether with it all.
After our conversation on Friday, which was very upsetting for me, I thought you might have turned a corner. But no, you were still moody, snappy and miserable on Sunday too. I am getting to the end of my tether with you. You are unhappy and contemplating suicide yet you will get no help. You seem to blame me for this. The person who has stood by you as you systematically try and ruin everything we do with your negativity and scathing distain. You are always bad tempered and I am quite frankly, sick of trying to help you. You seem unable to help yourself but expect me to put you and your feelings first and foremost. You have absolutely no respect for me or my feelings and I am sick to death of it. I try to keep the peace by doing everything for you and trying to not get you wound up, but nothing is ever enough. I am fed up with your aggressive outbursts, shouting and carrying on because you think something is not just so. You do nothing in the house, yet have strange expectations about what should have been done and what hasn?t been done. You have absolutely no qualms about shouting and screaming in front of your son, which is, despite your protestations, very damaging for a young child. You think only of yourself. You would never put someone else?s feelings first. You are extremely selfish and self centred. The overriding thing with you is that it is ALWAYS someone else?s fault. You take absolutely no responsibility for your actions. Losing your temper is always my fault as I?ve ?wound you up?, ?the house is a shithole?, ?there are clothes all over? etc. etc. You complain about these things but it would never enter your head to do anything about it. You moan and whinge about things, but do nothing about it. You see yourself as some sort of victim, when closer to the truth is that you expect everything handed to you on a plate. The only things you do with any semblance of grace is for your own gratification. You NEVER, EVER think about anyone else. The only time I can remember you actually being nice for a whole day is when you stayed out all night after going out drinking and were clearly feeling guilty. Every other time we do anything, be it shopping or allegedly a nice trip out, you ruin it with your bad moods. Every. Single. Time. I am utterly sick of it. You belittle my paid job and what I get paid for it, yet you seem to forget that I pay over half of my measly £800 per month towards the house. You can earn double that in a day. You have tens of thousands of pounds in the bank, but refuse to pay for anything for the house. I am having to spend ALL of my inheritance on getting essential items for the house as you won?t pay for anything that you don?t think we need. You think you?re the only one that works hard. You seem to forget that you work two days a week more than I do and that is all you do. Yet I manage to work three days a week and do all the childcare, dog walking, cooking, cleaning, gardening, washing and ironing, decorating, yet you have the audacity to say you work hard. I spent all of my PPI money on things for the house as you said we couldn?t afford a dining table, despite having thousands in your savings account.
You have absolutely no respect whatsoever for me. It has to change. I am not your skivvy, or nanny, I am your wife and unless things change, I won?t be that anymore. Its about time you realised what I actually do to try and keep this family together, and showed some appreciation and respect.
Well done if you've got to here
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Relationships
Letter for husband....
TwatinaHat · 15/07/2013 10:09
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