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6 months after affair...

(82 Posts)
swannylovesu Sun 14-Jul-13 21:45:01

...and today we moved home. OW lived 4 doors away as was my "best friend". So its been an interesting few months. DH is still mortifies by his behaviour and i am still healing, but today for the first time this year i can honestly say we might just get over this. Just wanted to share x

Rulesgirl Tue 16-Jul-13 13:11:06

Books became my best friends grin

swannylovesu Tue 16-Jul-13 17:56:38

from what i've read the recovery path from an affair us pretty similar whether you choose to continue the marriage or not. i have to say that after the initial body blow, i do now feel empowered. i was the good little partner for 18yrs.. now its my turn to lead this relationship. not sure thats phrased right but it sounded right in my head smile

lovintheolives Wed 17-Jul-13 17:53:46

I found out yesterday that DH had been seeing a female colleague. He says they got close, they kissed but they never slept together.
We've been together for 10yrs and I'm gutted. I feel winded, like I can't catch a breath. U can't stop crying and if it wasn't for our 2 DC I would have walked away and not looked back. I don't know what to do. Please help sad

lovintheolives Wed 17-Jul-13 17:56:17

* I cant stop crying.
This has apparently been going on for 10 months.

tessa6 Wed 17-Jul-13 18:39:43

You poor thing, lov. You might want to consider starting your own thread, but we're here for you. IF it's been going on ten months it's very unlikely they haven't slept together. People lie about infidelity, they minimise, drip feed. Do not trust what he says right now. Do your own research; credit card receits, texts, emails, phone bills. How did you find out? What was your relationship like before?

Wellwobbly Wed 17-Jul-13 20:08:28

Olives, sorry he is lying.

So sorry for your pain. Nobody can have any idea how much it hurts.

Start your own thread and tell us your story.

And? Throw him out because you need time to think.

Oh Olives I'm so sorry. It hurts like nothing anyone can imagine. He is lying though, they all minimise and drip feed out information. Every single one of them starts with the just kissed line.

All I can say is don't cling on, beg him to stay, or believe that this is your fault. Look after yourself, and make yourself some space. Tell him to leave whilst you decide what you want. Keep talking by all means, but until he's out of the home the magnitude of this won't hit him. Until it does he'll probably try to keep his options open. Shut that off now, it'll just hurt you more in the long run. The one thing I wish I had done differently in my case was move out earlier. Once I moved out and started to work on me I felt much happier and was actually ok with the idea of being on my own. The first step is knowing you'll be ok one your own. It doesn't mean you will be on your own, but it will stop you hanging on when it would really be better not too.

We're all thinking of you.

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