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Can you love someone but still leave a marriage?

(3 Posts)
CogitoErgoSometimes Thu 11-Jul-13 06:28:36

Of course you can. 'Love' isn't the be all and end all. You can love all kinds of things that are no good for you. If your DH's behaviour is intolerable or is damaging you in some way, you don't have to put up with it. If you think your children are happy and well-adjusted living in the same hostile environment with someone that goes 'ape shit' because a car gets scratched, I think you're kidding yourself. Kids adapt and cope with the situation they find themselves in. They're programmed to love parents, even when they behave appallingly.... doesn't mean they like it. If you arrange to split don't be surprised if they heave a sigh of relief.

SunshineBossaNova Thu 11-Jul-13 00:35:10

I still loved my abusive XH when I left him, but I had to go for my own sanity and safety.

Big hugs flowers

This will be a drip feed. I know this because I can't articulate correctly at the moment.

I love DH, but I am not sure this is enough. He's bipolar. I am not sure how relevant this is. I am not happy and haven't been for a long time. I miss the real DH.

He's a good good man but tomorrow, I think I need to pack a bag and go. Been considering this for ages, the practicalities scare me.

Then I think I am a quitter and that it will rip apart our lovely kids. How long to you keep supporting and coping and trying to plaster over the cracks before saying enough is enough?

He's in the spare room tonight because the car got scratched tonight and he went ape shit, I am laid awake thinking how much equity is in the house and if I could do it alone?

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