I want to leave / divorce - what happens next?

[Jammy321]

I've been married 2.5 years and have a 1 year old. My H is crazy and we just had the worst argument, I called him lazy and he completely lost it, had me up against the wall, grabbed my arms so hard that I now have purple bruises (great, in this heat, as now I'll have to cover my arms up), then held me up by the shoulders, very close to my throat. Then would scream like a mad man in my face (mind you this is all directly under our 1 year old's bedroom), went to pick up my phone, he took it off me, dangled it over the toilet, I threatened to call police, fast forward 5 mins, he was then telling me he loved me. I said this relationship / marriage is over.

I'm not English (from the other side of the world), H is English and threatens that he would fight me, so that I could not take our child out of this country, then says his mum has a stake in the house, so I wouldn't get that either. He's a total prick.

To top this off, its my second day back at work after mat leave and I've gone back full time. Nothing like some added stress to my life.

Can someone tell me what happens next, I want out of this relationship. Can I serve divorce papers on him, when I'm still living here? Should I move out, should he? Thank you

[WafflyVersatile]

I'd say the next thing is you call the police and have him arrested for assault.

At the very least take photos of your injuries and email them to yourself or a friend/store them online/save them somewhere safe.

[WafflyVersatile]

That's sounds quite flippant.

What he did was truly awful. If he did that to someone in the street he'd be in a cell at the police station now and rightly so.

Speak to Women's Aid, CAB or a solicitor. Also maybe shelter.

[Smilehappy]

Phone the police they will arrest him and remove him from the property, upon doing so he will recieve bail orders, that will restrict him from returning to the property until after a hearing, in that time visit a solicitor and find out your rights to the property and leaving the country. You may not be "allowed" to leave the country but if you really wanted to, you could, no one can really stop you unless a court has been somewhat involved... I'm not a solicitor, clearly but I am speaking from experience

Good luck xx,

[CogitoErgoSometimes]

Definitely call the police and have him removed. You're describing an appalling, vicious assault and, if you want to have a life away from him with your child, it will help if you have it on record that he is a violent, abusive man that is not fit to be in charge of a child.

Womens Aid can also be very helpful, solicitors will guide you through the legal aspects of separation and CAB can help you with financial matters, benefits, accommodation etc. But get him removed from your house by the police before he kills you