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How to handle SIL re cancelling on my 3year old

(54 Posts)
Francescgrace Mon 08-Jul-13 09:05:52

We had a family birthday barbecue at home yesterday for my 3 year old DS's bday. It had been planned for several weeks with everyone agreeing to the date. We have small families so it was just my mum, MIL and FIL, my bro and his wife and my husbands sister and her husband.

Two hours before I got a text from her saying that their barbecue the previous night had gone on longer than expected so their friends were still there and they weren't going to come. I replied just saying "DS will be very disappointed" and then got another one back saying she was sorry.

I think this is a) rude as you just don't cancel at that short notice when people have catered for you etc and b) a horrible thing to do to your three year old nephew. My husband is angry too and we don't know how to handle this for the best. We don't think they enjoy spending time with us which is fine, but I feel the need to protect my son from being treated badly. The family is generally pretty dysfunctional and my inlaws have defended my SIL and asked my husband not to fall out over it.

Any tips for how to handle this without blowing it out of proportion but at the same time giving the message that we will not be treated like that and just ignore it?

Thank you.

PinkPlum Mon 08-Jul-13 22:00:42

Oops sorry!!
SiL was out of order and bad manners to cancel at the last minute when she had committed. Sounds like an inconsiderate piece of work BUT I wouldn't act bothered by it. Don't give her the importance of acting like it has affected you or your DC's birthday. The party still went ahead and was great should be your attitude next time u see her. Patronise her by making a light hearted joke about what she did so that she knows not to treat u like this again but then move on.

PinkPlum Mon 08-Jul-13 22:03:08

Also next time u are organising a function do not consult with her but simply tell her when u r holding it. I wouldn't give her the air time tbh

jollygoose Tue 09-Jul-13 13:07:10

sorry I think you are totally over reacting. Barbec ues are casual affairs to most people. I very much doubt that your ds could care less. Its really not worth falling out over, its likely they had a late night and couldnt face it its not the worst crime.

Ezio Wed 10-Jul-13 10:21:24

You DS probably wasnt bothered by them not being there, so i would just let it go.

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