The short story is my BF moved in with me 2 years ago and I asked him to leave 3 months ago or so. We have not split up but, for one reason or another, we cannot live together. I instigated him leaving because he was not supportive, behaved like a child at stressful times with my course and, as I have 3 kids, I need to focus on my studies so I can provide for them and be self-sufficient in the future (along with developing a career in an area that I love).
I am at Uni doing a course that requires me to work 40+ hours and am studying for a degree. BF is self-employed. Basically, we are both busy and our schedules do not match up.
I see him every other weekend when the kids are with their Dads and occasionally in the week but to be honest there is no point him coming over as I don't finish until late and have to be up at 5am for the next day.
If you ask me whether I love him, on a bad days I would say I have no idea what love is really and do not trust my own judgement as my relationship history has been one failure after another and on a good day I would say he is the love of my life.
My problem is whenever we see each other I am so angry (related to the reason we cannot live together), hurt (same shit) and don't want our relationship to be this way. In the 10 days or so between when we see each other I am happy enough as I am so busy i've no time to dwell on any of it. I want us to be together but I want us to address the issues that have caused us to live apart, he thinks we cannot live together full stop.
The thing is, relationships are about compromise and we couldnt even live together now as my Dad has moved in to help me with childcare so I am just slowly doing my own head in about, basically nothing, whilst at work and with the children have a veneer of all being well.
Confused is not the word. Advice?
PS. I have not included much detail about the 'issues' because both of us are at fault and its all a bit tedious to be honest.
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15 replies
saggyhairyarse · 07/07/2013 13:13
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