Note: Mumsnetters don't necessarily have the qualifications or experience to offer relationships counselling or to provide help in cases of domestic violence. Mumsnet can't be held responsible for any advice given on the site. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Judge me if you want for writing this ....but...I don't think my mum is emotionaly stable ...but not sure what help she needs..

(12 Posts)
bizzey Fri 05-Jul-13 22:27:57

Ok ...tonight's example is just one but there have been more that have got me thinking over the past year....

Today I took dad to hospital for appointment (re Alzeimer's ...poss signifigant?)..She picked boys up from school.

Got home....(theirs) 2 hours fine ....boys playing up a bit ...being silly on stairs while we were watching tennis .....I had already warned them ...stood up to warn them again and she said .....

"OH bizzey don't hit/slap (she says she said one word I say she said another ...but to me they are still implying the same ) them" !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I stopped in my tracks and looked at her in dis-belief....

I questioned her on her wording and or my disipling of my children..(Astern look ...reminder that I will not repeat name/something for the 3rd time/glare is all i need for mine ??)

I have left her crying doing a "woe is me act " with me being the nasty person
because I said "I cant believe you said that "

My boys asked why nanny was crying ....when I told them the story ...they burst out laughing and said when I pull that funny strict face they know I /they have reached their boundries and need to go before they laugh .....

Rabbitiing now so better stop....There is more to this that I won't go into now ....but I still feel sick that she could say that to me

Thanks for reading ...if you have

bizzey Fri 05-Jul-13 22:32:44

Sorry ..the burst out laughing when they asked why nanny was crying ...has not come across very well... blush

bizzey Fri 05-Jul-13 23:10:33

Where have I gone ......not on chat thread ???

bizzey Fri 05-Jul-13 23:14:31

..."un stable "

RhondaJean Brazil Fri 05-Jul-13 23:14:50

Eh?

I'm not really sure I understand but are you certain she didn't mean it as, don't tell them off, using older language, and you took offense at the words not meaning? I'm not sure why it would lead you to think she's unstable on its own tbh.

Bunbaker Fri 05-Jul-13 23:16:53

I didn't really understand your post.

What does this mean? "OH bizzey don't hit/slap (she says she said one word I say she said another ...but to me they are still implying the same ) them" !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

bizzey Fri 05-Jul-13 23:36:44

Thank you for replying to my stupid garbled post !!!

I stood up to give my boys "the glare look" which works always ....but her first though was I was going to hit or slap them ....I feel sick that she could think like this ...

Sorry this is my worst post ever .....

Rhonda...I see where you are coming from ...but this is not a one off....but she can suddenly change personality in a blink of an eye....

But thank you both for replying...I am just not explaining my emotions and feelings very well tonight (and worries!)

RhondaJean Brazil Fri 05-Jul-13 23:56:23

No I thought there had to be more to it... Maybe try a post in relationships when you are calm?

There does seem potential narc tendencies there ( the getting upset making it all about her) but one incident is impossible to judge on.

Anyway try to put it out your mind and rest!

bizzey Sat 06-Jul-13 00:04:44

Thank you Rhonda ...I always think the relationship bit is for couples sort of thing !

I think you have hit the nail on the head there with the "narc tendencies"

I will try and get it moved or deleted

bizzey Sat 06-Jul-13 00:55:55

Rhonda....looked it up...I think they are writing about my mum .. sad

RhondaJean Brazil Sat 06-Jul-13 08:47:39

I recognise some of what you said - an example, when my dd2 was in SCBU after being born preemie, tiny but perfectly healthy, my mother had a big massive melt down that me and DH were "not telling her something and she just knew there was something wrong with the baby and you are keeping it from me". Which is just what you need when you are a week post emcs and worried sick about your little four pound baby.

There are good threads on relationships called something like "but we took you to stately homes" which are support threads for those with narc parents. I found they really helped me years ago to get it all out and realise other people were in the same situation.

Good luck...

KateSMumsnet Cameroon (MNHQ) Sat 06-Jul-13 15:30:03

Hi all,

We're going to move this to relationships at the request of the OP.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now