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He just disappeared after 6 months........I feel such a plonker

(174 Posts)
Pinkdaisy4 Wed 26-Jun-13 22:35:46

Been with 'd'p for around 6 months. Very passionate and intense relationship then two weeks ago, he texted in the morning to say " morning gorgeous, I love you and miss you so much. I texted back on his normal number but came up unobtainable.

He lives about 40 miles away, difficult to just pop round as have a toddler and I work pt. I tried calling his mobile but still " the number you have called has not been recognised" I left a message on his landline but nothing. This was two weeks ago and haven't heard anything.

I feel such a plonker and I'd lent him money too. I was just another notch sad

Just wanted a rant.....we had a termination in April this yr as condom split and failed MAP . I just feel so angry....with everything sad I've been used big time sad

BerylStreep Wed 26-Jun-13 22:52:19

Are you sure nothing awful has happened to him?

Viviennemary Wed 26-Jun-13 22:52:52

I suppose there is a chance something has gone very wrong like some sort of accident. But surely his work would have told you that at least if this was the case. If he's just left then that is utterly mean and horrible of him. You should go to his house and confront him. I always think alarm bells ring when somebody has absolutely no contact with friends or family.

Pinkdaisy4 Wed 26-Jun-13 22:53:18

Winnie.....yes, been to his house plenty of times. He lives in a flat with intercom system and works odd hours. I haven't been to his flat for two weeks.

AF......I fear you're right. Honestly, I'm nearly 40 not 17! I think I should have learnt by now...that's why I'm so mad at myself sad

Ruprekt Wed 26-Jun-13 22:53:39

I would need closure and to know what had happened.

Is he on FB ?

Do you have any friends together?

I would get a babysitter for DC and go and hunt him down for answers? angryangryangry

AnyFucker Wed 26-Jun-13 22:54:13

Give yourself a swift kick up the arse, and move on

Well rid, innit

waddlecakes Wed 26-Jun-13 22:54:20

He can't have gone missing, else his work would have been concerned and glad that you called them.

This is making me feel so sad, I just can't understand why he'd do it, and send that text first, too?

There's always the chance that he's lost his phone. You need to go to his house.

But the OP had tried his landline too without success waddlecakes

Pinkdaisy4 Wed 26-Jun-13 22:55:53

When I gave him the money, he promised to ay it back ( as you do) . He knows my financial situation too.

He has contact with friends and family, I don't have their addresses or contact details.

NameThatTuna Wed 26-Jun-13 22:56:32

You are not the arse OP. He is.

Don't beat yourself up over it flowers

waddlecakes Wed 26-Jun-13 22:57:33

Maybe he isn't the sort to answer the landline?

I always let mine go to answerphone, hate picking up.

Pinkdaisy4 Wed 26-Jun-13 22:57:41

I just crave closure iyswim.

Do you know names of friends/ family?
Maybe they have facebook?

AnyFucker Wed 26-Jun-13 22:58:01

Not on FB

No contact for his friends/family

Flat with (screening) intercom (I assume you have no key/code OP)

Says he works odd hours

Borrowed money

Disappeared

It's an open and shut case, Dr Watson < adjusts deerstalker >

deliasmithy Wed 26-Jun-13 22:58:39

I got 'number not recognised' once when I called some one when they were in the process of changing their mobile phone number.

If something had 'happened' to him why would his phone be cut off? I'd have thought it'd go to voice mail.

Pinkdaisy4 Wed 26-Jun-13 22:59:11

He never usually picks up his landline. I've left two messages.....one saying are you dead?!

It's just really odd.

fuckwittery Wed 26-Jun-13 22:59:16

Ok, so you know his name and place of work and where he lives. Have you met his friends? I think you should go round there too, can you work out his shift pattern from the past shifts?

AnitaManeater Wed 26-Jun-13 22:59:26

Sounds like he's probably already married or has another girlfriend . Have you tried ringing his number from another phone he won't recognise the number for? How did you meet him? If it was on a dating site but not on facebook that would make me a bit suspicious.

waddlecakes Wed 26-Jun-13 23:01:29

I hope there's a perfectly normal explanation for this.

Because what he said in the text makes it particularly cruel to disappear like this.

OP, this sounds mad (and it is), but I think is warranted if you need an answer: why can't you just go to his flat and continuously buzz/ring until he's forced to answer?

waddlecakes Wed 26-Jun-13 23:02:55

How did you meet him?

NameThatTuna Wed 26-Jun-13 23:02:58

It's been two weeks though. OP left a message on his landline number. Even if he was in the process of changing his mobile contract, it doesnt take two weeks.

If he had lost his phone for example, he knows where the OP lives. He would have days off when he could drive to see her to let him know he was ok.

After all, she lent him the money 'to get his car fixed'

bico Wed 26-Jun-13 23:03:14

If he had blocked your number on his phone I wonder if that could explain why you get that message?

Pinkdaisy4 Wed 26-Jun-13 23:03:52

AF .....you're right dear Watson smile

When charging his phone, he always had it on silent and screen face down and writes in capitals.....both I think is odd too.

I have a terrible feeling on reelection now I was either one of many or the OW sad

Could you have a surreptitious look on match.com or similar? The findings might not be pleasant, but as you say you need closure of sorts.

TurnipCake Wed 26-Jun-13 23:07:00

Ah OP, don't beat yourself up about this. I once dated a lovely human specimen who left the country without bothering to tell me. I suspect I was one of a long line of girlfriends. I know you're probably itching for closure, but it may not happen and he ain't worth anymore of your time.

Pinkdaisy4 Wed 26-Jun-13 23:07:23

We met at work.
I've tried withholding my number to his landline but t doesn't accept anonymous calls.
I'm going to ask ex h to have little ds this weekend so I can go over but part of me now thinks, is he worth the petrol? But I need to know what has / is going on......without sounding like a stalker!!!!

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