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Thinking of being sterilised ... because I want another baby.

(27 Posts)
Flyingtree Sun 23-Jun-13 23:56:14

It doesn't make sense I know, but in my confused mind it seems the sensible thing to do.

I'm in a relationship with a man, both 44, I have two under 6 and he has none. He has explained he is too old to have children now, but that if anything happened, he would of course be supportive.

Unlike my previous long term boyfriends, he has always taken an interest in my contraception choices, discussed them at length, and when I was taking the mini Pill, reminded me whenever he was with me to take it.

His previous partner of 15 years fell pregnant when he was about 24, but as she had already explained to him she didn't want new children (she had teens when she met him), she had an abortion.

He doesn't discuss this in any depth with me, I get the feeling there is nothing much to discuss I suppose. He says he was young, did not really put much thought into it at the time.

However...

I have recently become broody. It probably coincides with my advancing age, possibly with the hormonal effects of the Evra Patch contraception I'm currently using, or the fact Ihave fallen utterly in love with him.

But my two children were conceived within an abusive and violent relationship, with a man who vehemently did not want children 'with me', and stated that I ruined his life by accidentally falling pregnant (contraception fail) and he has not seen them in over a year.
Consequently, I am terrified of repeating history, because I worry that as he is concerned with my contraception choices and issues, and reminds me to take the Pill or whichever I am using, I feel under (gentle) observation, and that because he knows I would like another baby, if I did accidentally fall pregnant, I am convinced he will think deep down it was planned.

So, because I know for certain I do not want a child with any other man than him and because he does not want children, isn't it sensible to remove the possibility altogether, and to get myself sterilised?

Please let me know your views.

GingerJulep Wed 26-Jun-13 20:58:40

I meant unprotected against STDs OP, not pregnancy.

A baby is no where near the worst thing non-condom-using sex can get you :-)

FrequentFlyerRandomDent Wed 26-Jun-13 21:04:54

OP - Female sterilisation is an intrusive surgery that leaves clips in your body.

Research it very, very well. Read as much as you can about it. I would not go down that route personally. There are other options you an discuss with your GP.

In the meantime, why it focus on why you are so broody. Maybe on your own with a counsellor. What void are you trying to fill? Etc.

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