Note: Mumsnetters don't necessarily have the qualifications or experience to offer relationships counselling or to provide help in cases of domestic violence. Mumsnet can't be held responsible for any advice given on the site. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

May I just say....

(30 Posts)
GoldiChops Sun 23-Jun-13 22:42:35

You are an absolute arse. I am so angry with you I can't breathe. You take me for a date, cinema, chat, meal, listen to my woes, talk about our weeks, tell me your problems and joys- then just look at me and fucking FUCKING say 'I want you in my life. But not in a romantic way'.

It's been what, 2, 3 months. Dates, texting, laughing, trusting and you want to get points for being a fucking gentleman and treating me to the cinema?

Holy almighty shit balls. Talk about a bolt out of the blue. Not one hint, not indication you weren't as happy as me. We talked the future, we hypothetically talked kids and marriage and found we had similar hypothetical views. Similar hobbies, similar life choices.

Aaargh.

Oh and no one needs to answer this. I just need to get it out of my system and move on. I didn't love him, but I could see loving him..... in the future. I invested effort and I feel stupid.

Sorry sad

tightfortime Sun 23-Jun-13 22:44:33

He did want you. But I suspect recently he has met someone else. Sorry. flowers

Numberlock Sun 23-Jun-13 22:45:42

It was 2 months, he was honest.

Walkacrossthesand Sun 23-Jun-13 22:46:03

Look on the bright side - he may want you in his life but he ain't gonna have you. His loss.

ChippingInWiredOnCoffee Sun 23-Jun-13 22:46:23

What a git. Did you ask him at what point he had changed his fucking mind?

Sorry you are going through this sad

Ruprekt Sun 23-Jun-13 22:48:12

confusedconfusedconfused thanksthanksthanks

GoldiChops Sun 23-Jun-13 23:03:13

Ha thanks all of you. Yes, it was just 2 months.... but I put an effort in, you know? I tried, emotionally invested, trusted. Stupid.

No idea when he changed his mind. He knew my past, knew I'd never had a 'proper' relationship, and was just feeling my way in.... learning. We had long, long talks, talking all night kind of thing, telling about childhoods and heartbreak and futures. Everything we talked about had a future, you know? Like he'd mention a hobby and say 'you'd love it, I'll take you sometime'. I MET HIS MOTHER! I've never done that, ever.

There was no indication that anything was amiss til today. I'm just so annoyed that he let me sit there for like 2 hours talking about my mum's operation, his new job, everything then out of the blue just dumped- but oh wait, we can still be friends. Cos I'm awesome. No really, you're awesome and one day I'll meet the man who I'll be with forever AND YOU JUST DUMPED ME THREE SECONDS AGO YOU DON'T GET TO SAY THAT! You don't get to talk about how great I am and how I'll make someone else happy. I was happy! Til you fucking DUMPED ME!

Grr.

Yes. Only two months. I'll be over it, soon, but tonight it happened and tonight I'm going to vent on here cos my mum is in bed and I've spoken to my best mate and now she's gone bed and I'm stuck here all alone. And I don't want to bloody cry over a two month relationship!

GoldiChops Sun 23-Jun-13 23:17:48

Keep thinking of things I want to say to him. Now he's ex. All the little niggles you put up with at the start to ease the way..... grr.

tightfortime Sun 23-Jun-13 23:30:57

Oh say them girl, say them here. And try to see that he's done you a favour because any man that dangles carrots and blows hot and cold like that...is storing up trouble down the line

honey86 Sun 23-Jun-13 23:31:37

i had this after a 10 month relationship once. its like being smacked in the mouth sad all the 'its not you its me' and 'youll meet the one for you one day' bullshit.

its highly patronising and equally insulting.... as if thats gonna make us feel better, n make us go ' ohh well thats ok then...' and give em brownie points for being nice. before they end up on my car bonnet.

lol.

GoldiChops Sun 23-Jun-13 23:39:11

Hahaha yes what an arse. Like I'm going to thank him for dumping me, just cos he reminds me there are other people out there!

I put up with his lateness because, you know, who wants someone who makes a fuss? After a year yes, you're late and I'm going to tell you I'm pissed off. Date 3 and I'll say it's ok. You just do. But I bloody hated it! He was late today, battling fucking orcs or whatever. Dick.

I wish this had happened yesterday..... cos I could have spent today with mates getting over it, and I could have gotten drunk. But I didn't get home til 10.30 and I have to be up for work at 6 so I can't even have one lousy drink.

Fucking orcs.

GoldiChops Sun 23-Jun-13 23:40:50

I know me, I'll be all 'what's wrong with me, what did I do wrong' soon so for right now I'm going to be angry at him and his stupid face. All his fault.

Git.

NoelHeadbands Sun 23-Jun-13 23:46:36

I think we need to know more about these orcs...

tightfortime Sun 23-Jun-13 23:48:50

Stay angry. It's not you, it's him.

Well rid.

GoldiChops Sun 23-Jun-13 23:56:42

Ok so he's into games workshop games.... orcs and dwarves and battles, I have no idea. And I don't mind, nor care, it's a hobby and I don't put it down or anything. I could even become interested in it. However I do object to him turning up late, missing the start of the film, to what he knows but I don't know is our final ever date. Because of sodding orcs. And throughout the date he's on his phone texting and stuff and I put up with it as you do and then he says blah blah team won, we lost a dwarf or something like that means anything to me. This, I object to. He knew it was our final date and he spent time talking fucking orcs with his fucking mates.

I am so beyond angry. And I'm peeved that I didn't realise this at the time- about the final date, and about his texting- and I didn't say anything.

I should go to bed, I have to be up at 6 but I'll dwell and I don't want to dwell I want to be angry. Or drunk, but that's out, so angry it is. Better than swelling and re-evaluating and wondering what I did wrong.

And I know what I did wrong, he made legitimate points that I answered but fact remains he could have bought anything up with me at any point and he chose not to. Could have texted, met, chatted, emailed, called.... anything. Raised the issues, talked. But no, he fucking dumped me in Harvester. Dick.

GoldiChops Sun 23-Jun-13 23:58:00

Ha

GoldiChops Sun 23-Jun-13 23:58:54

I can't believe I shaved my legs for this.

ChippingInWiredOnCoffee Mon 24-Jun-13 00:05:21

Oh - you are definitely well rid. I couldn't take a man seriously if he was into orcs, battles, dwarfs... and he's late and he's insensitive and he's a TWAT.

Stay angry - it is him, not you.

GoldiChops Mon 24-Jun-13 00:09:51

Yeeeaaah. Twatty twat. Well rid. I need the anger, last time I split with someone it was awful I just dwelled and over-thought it and it became all my fault.

I should add that I suffer from depression so I'm trying to just... stave it off. If I'm going be emotional I'm trying to send it external.... rather than letting it fester internally. Which makes sense to no one but me! But I am determined not to cry, just grit my teeth. And keep perspective- three months ago I didn't even know this man, my life was going along ok without him and it will again. I'm trying not to let this be the start of a downwards depression type of thing. Stay up. Difficult.

GoldiChops Mon 24-Jun-13 00:11:36

Oh and also focus on his faults rather than good points- well, I'm upset so he did have some else I wouldn't care!

NoelHeadbands Mon 24-Jun-13 00:12:59

You've been very gracious about the orcs and that is to your credit.

But seriously, another couple of months and this would have driven you nutty. Like, insane. So you are well rid.

And yes, him being the dumper and in HARVESTER has gotta sting, but you really are well rid [smile ]

bbqsummer Mon 24-Jun-13 00:51:36

What a knob.

He likes orcs and battles? ffs

Does he know what's happening in Syria and Brazil? If so, can he clearly explain why these events are happening?

Thought not.

What a tosser.

SlumberingDormouse Mon 24-Jun-13 01:11:04

I wrote a list of things I didn't like about my ex. I reached 50! I carried it around with me and read it (and really DWELT on it) every time I was tempted to run back to him wallow and it really did work. I'd recommend it.

honey86 Mon 24-Jun-13 08:34:15

harvester is a straight up piss take. as its full of couples n happy families.... how insulting! i wudve slapped him for that reason alone! what a coward.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now