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BloomingRose moves on...

(21 Posts)
BloomingRose Mon 24-Jun-13 07:01:19

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Verygentlydoesit Mon 24-Jun-13 06:15:34

bloomingrose I am so sorry.

This is a time for action. I am not an expert but I have read brilliant advice about this on MN before. You need this advice now, but it's not been given yet because of the time you posted (it's quieter on MN in the early hours), and because the 2 threads you posted aren't ones that will alert mumsnetters to the situation.

Start a new thread. Give the headline info. I think the advice will roll in. Come back to these threads for support, you will get it I promise.

I do know that the police were completely out of order. I am furious on your behalf. I think you should call them back, explain clearly that you are afraid, that he threatened you (with the "you are finished comment"). Again, there are experts in this on MN who will tell you what you should expect from the police and how to get it.

Call women's aid. They will offer excellent advice. I've seen this suggested many times on MN. Call them- 08002000247.

Sending you huge hugs.

HoneyandRum Mon 24-Jun-13 05:38:36

Take your name off the Lease and leave so he is responsible for rent and bills?

HoneyandRum Mon 24-Jun-13 05:37:48

Can you break the lease and go into sheltered accommodation?

BloomingRose Mon 24-Jun-13 03:38:02

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bigstrongmama Sun 23-Jun-13 23:22:48

Well done. You sound strong to me xx

BloomingRose Sun 23-Jun-13 22:34:46

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lubeybooby Sun 23-Jun-13 22:14:04

well done rose... don't feel guilty, not even a shred. call WA for advice on keeping him away, maybe some kind of injunction, that HAS to overule him being on the tenancy surely?

I'd give the police a call as well, explain about the violence in the past and say you are scared of him coming back?? (even if you are not scared I am a bit worried what he might try)

Speak to WA first though. I am so proud of you

I have no experience of kicking someone out so not up on all the legal stuff but surely someone police or wa or both must be able to help you

OhWesternWind Sun 23-Jun-13 22:01:46

Brilliant! Rose you bloody rock. I am so proud of you. Strong and brave. Don't let any if those guilt feelings into your head. It's all just emotional blackmail.

You're fab.

HoneyandRum Sun 23-Jun-13 21:57:49

Well done! Can you call Women's Aid right now to make sure you have covered all your bases?

BloomingRose Sun 23-Jun-13 21:46:54

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Noregrets78 Sun 23-Jun-13 21:06:16

bloomingrose I really feel for you, and there are so many familiar bits around the finances. Makes you feel like a total mug. There are things you might be able to do to get him out due to violence, but these are not as straight forward as people think. It sounds as though you're doing the right things instead concentrating on moving to where you'll be studying. Detach, keep your cool and focus your energies. Good luck.

OhWesternWind Sun 23-Jun-13 17:55:35

I second talking to the Uni again. Try the accommodation people but also the welfare/support/access officer (different names at different universities and they might be part if the Students' Union rather than the Uni). Either the Uni or the SU will also probably have links with local private landlords who offer "approved" housing. The local council might, as well.

The idea to advertise as a tenant is great - I'd try Gumtree as a starter.

If you can think if anything I can do to help, just let me know love.

mummytime Sun 23-Jun-13 17:43:00

I would still suggest talking to Women's Aid, they are not just about moving women into Hostels. They may be able to give help/advice about finding accommodation in your new town, or be able to refer you onto someone who can help. they will also be able to provide the support to help you ensure that history never repeats itself.
Also have you just been talking to the accommodation part of the University? I would also talk to the department and let them know how desperately you wish to take up your place and how concerned you are you might not be able to if you can't find accommodation soon. Something else I have done in the past that worked very well was to advertise as a potential renter. I was offered some accommodation which would have been ideal for you and your DD, and some of it was in extension flat that the owners were not especially serious about letting.

BloomingRose Sun 23-Jun-13 12:48:57

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BloomingRose Sun 23-Jun-13 12:46:31

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BloomingRose Sat 22-Jun-13 22:56:49

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OhWesternWind Sat 22-Jun-13 22:51:18

Rose have you thought of posting in Chat or the local board for your new area to ask if there's anyone living there who could help with house hunting or landlord recommendations?

It will get better, lovely. But do be careful about your dd. I thought my ex was only like that with me but he'd been like that with the dc all along, and they were too scared to tell me.

BloomingRose Sat 22-Jun-13 21:12:05

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mummytime Sat 22-Jun-13 21:05:10

Have you had legal advice? Have you even been to CAB.

If someone could punch you in the head hard enough to break his hand, then he should not be looking after a child.

I am shocked that he got off with a caution and is allowed back in your home with your DD.

Please phone Women's Aid, he is abussive.

BloomingRose Sat 22-Jun-13 20:47:38

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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