Every month I go on a night out with a group of girl friends; there are around 10 of us altogether and we all get on well. A friend who was my best friend at school organises the nights out. We're not cliquey and any friends of friends are welcome to come along, the more the merrier really. I am still good friends with my friend who organises it, although we're not really 'best' friends anymore as I don't really have a best friend in adulthood, just a handful of people I would class as good friends.
Anyway, about 6 months ago my friend started bringing along another friend of hers to the meet ups. She and my friend seem to have become very close too. I've always been really friendly to her, and spoken to and treated her the same as I have done any other women that come along on nights out. However it's become apparent that she doesn't like me at all.
At first I thought she was just a bit shy, so gave her the benefit of the doubt and was chatty with her and friendly. However over time I realised that she is fine with other people, but she is very passive aggressive in her behaviour towards me. She added me as a friend on FB. I accepted. But she never interacts with me in any way. The only time she interacts is if anyone puts a sarcastic comments as a reply to any of my statuses (I have several friends/family members that I have quite a bit of banter on there with), and then she will 'like' what they have said. I posted a photo of me ready for a night out and my cousin, who I have a lot of banter with, said 'Bum still fat ;-)' very tongue in cheek, and this woman 'liked' her comment, which I think is odd given that she never interacts with me, let alone in any banter with me.
She also makes it obvious on our nights out that she dislikes me. We went out two weeks ago and when I arrived for our meal at a pub several of them were sitting on a long sofa bench type chair at a table, and there were a few chairs around the table but they were all being sat in and there wasn't room for any other chairs around the table. I said 'Can I squeeze on the sofa with you ladies?', and she just sat there, looked at me and wouldn't move, even though she was sat at the end where I could have sat. There was plenty of room for probably 3 more people, but she just looked at me giving me a dirty look. She then said 'Go and get a chair', and I said 'Well there isn't really any room for more chairs, can't I just sit on here' and she said 'Go and sit at a chair at another table then'. Everyone else just looked really embarrassed and so some others further up the bench moved up and I got in there, but it meant I had to walk along the row of people, including this woman, like you do at the cinema if you need the loo! When she could have just moved along 6 inches herself.
She also does things like if I am talking to someone she comes along, taps them on the shoulder and starts asking them questions, or she puts herself between the person and I, puts her back to me and again starts talking to them. I know she does this on purpose as it happens again and again and again.
I haven't said anything yet, as I don't want mutuals to feel caught in the middle, and they all seem to get on with her ok, but I'm getting to the stage where I'm going to tell her to stop being so rude and nasty. I think she might feel threatened as my friend and I are still close, and I think she really idolises my friend and wants her to herself.
Any ideas on how I can handle it? Is it best to just carry on ignoring her?
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Friend of a friend makes it obvious she dislikes me. AIBU to ask for advice on handling the situation?
Miffymoocat · 22/06/2013 15:23
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