Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

My alcoholic mother is being made homeless. I've distanced myself but had a call for help.wwyd?

(104 Posts)
BriansBrain Tue 18-Jun-13 20:12:27

I've had a thread on here before about what a nightmare my mother has been in the past due to her ill health and alcholism and received lots of support.

Sad to say I'm back again.

I'm married with DC, full time career and moved away from my/our home town 15 years ago because as selfish as it sounds she is such hard word, lying, threatening suicide, lying. I couldn't take to any more.

We used to speak on the phone but she would tell me constant lies.

The house was unkept to the point where I couldn't visit with DC because of the smoke and alchol and general state of it all.

She would be hospitalised, I refused to visit every time because nothing changed.

I know I sound selfish but I like to think of it as protective of my little family.

No dad, grandparents just me and then my mothers sister who lives hours and hours away.

She lost her house and the last I heard she was doing fine in residential care and waiting for assisted housing (all of these words are new to me and mean nothing) I have text but not had any replies or just "I'm fine" replies.

Mothers sister calls today, mum is suicidal and the assisted housing has fallen through,social services have said she needs to leave residential and offered her a flat with no assistance and in an area she doesn't want to live in.

She is saying no so SS are saying its the flat or homeless your choice.

Sister wants me to swoop in. And save the day because mother is rock bottom again

Sorry it's so long and I've kept it bullet point to keep my emotions out because I have had this for many many sad years since a child myself and every is great and now this.

I k ow this is my mother but I can't let the DC k ow what's going on, youngest doesn't even know who she is.

I'm going to finish putting DC to bed and hope someone an help me figure out what I am going to have to do.

34DD Mon 24-Jun-13 23:18:13

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BriansBrain Mon 24-Jun-13 23:24:10

grin @ personal Rottwieler

I'm going to choose shot & guilty + peaceful life please.

something2say Mon 24-Jun-13 23:40:52

Well done bb x
An amazing read. Glad you stood by your guns.

olgaga Tue 25-Jun-13 00:11:08

I've been through something similar and sadly you have to turn away. Your responsibility now is to your own family.

You might find that some counselling.might assist you. You are grieving for the mum you never had. You are obviously a caring person and these unreasonable, emotional demands from other members of your mum's family must be hard to face.

But they are certainly unreasonable and you have every right to put your own family's needs first.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now