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partner just accidentally tx me this.....back door? xxx what u make of it

(64 Posts)
stella10 Mon 17-Jun-13 17:08:18

Just that really. Wen I rang and confronted him he made an excuse about old msg's coming through on phone. I know this to be bull. What do I do/say? He doesn't know I suspect yet?

ChippingInWiredOnCoffee Wed 19-Jun-13 02:06:05

stella how have you been today?

If you don't love him, why are you trying? It shouldn't be this hard or unrewarding, it really shouldn't.

cronullansw Wed 19-Jun-13 01:38:22

Gosh - not one of you lot so that were so eager to condemn hubby for cheating has had the decency to apologise.

I'm so, so surprised.

Ever heard of karma?

oreoaddict Tue 18-Jun-13 10:25:38

I think it sounds like a believable explanation, but you've already said that you don't really love each other anymore, so regardless, you should leave.

I hope everything works out for the best

Flyingtree Tue 18-Jun-13 09:53:01

My iPhone3 likes to send texts that were originally sent several hours ago, or repeat text threads that happened days ago, or even send texts from weeks ago. So he could be telling the truth.

Honeytrap him back. Disable your Caller ID and text him asking when he wants to see 'you' next.

DiaryOfAWimpyMum Tue 18-Jun-13 02:04:33

If he works in comptuing back door used to be a virus or a something to do with computing either that or maybe he takes or sells drugs secretly and uses the back door of somewhere

Just another 2 random reasons for 'back door xxx'

cronullansw Tue 18-Jun-13 01:48:49

No wait!!

OP should do exactly what she's been told to do!! LTB!! Right now, either he's asked for anal or he's cheating, either way, it's unacceptable and doesn't take your feelings into consideration, LTB now!!

Do not give us this 'oh it's all ok, my phone WAS playing up'', we know he's forced you to say this. smile We simply can't have....

Jeez. This place kills me. Talk about inappropriate knee jerk reactions. ALL of you with the ''he's cheating'' need to take a good hard look at yourselves, your negativity, your habit of leaping to the worst possible conclusions.

Celador Mon 17-Jun-13 22:34:40

Lilmiss is right; my samsung has randomly sent old texts before.

However, you still deserve a proper explanation otherwise it'll always be in the back of your mind.

We don't have enough info to say whether he's having an affair so don't assume this, but stand your ground until you're happy with his explanation.

Good luck x

austenozzy Mon 17-Jun-13 21:51:54

i sent some messages to what i thought was my old mate's mobile. it was his old number that had been reallocted and i got a very shirty reply suggesting i 'go elsewhere'. had happened loads to this guy apparently.

stella10 Mon 17-Jun-13 21:41:11

Sorry posted too soon. I realise now I need to decide what I want because a part of me wasn't surprised he may have been looking elsewhere for affection as its not been forthcoming from me:-( my bad. But and yet he isn't one to do that really...what a strange day:-/

stella10 Mon 17-Jun-13 21:37:52

Yes this is true I agree there but we are trying to work on the relationship and I admit I have been the uncaring one a lot and not trying much so I was actually very hurt and shocked to think of the possibility of cheating before we've even called it a day. It is him that insists we need to work at the relationship and wen things are good I am glad I listen to him which is why todays tx made me wonder why I was even bothering!! To top it off I was so worried I rang my mum told her all the nasty details of our recent rubbish times and she said don't jump to any conclusions ask him what it was....and sure enough the dodgy text was from my stupid phone! And he w/s just replying back door? Xxx to find out what I meant.... p I did push him enough he might go

ChippingInWiredOnCoffee Mon 17-Jun-13 21:00:57

But Stella life if too short to be with someone you don't love and doesn't make you happy... really it is.

ChippingInWiredOnCoffee Mon 17-Jun-13 21:00:12

Because he was replying to her

Back door???

xxx

Plus3 Mon 17-Jun-13 20:57:33

So ..what are you going to do about the lack of love in a crap relationship then?

Hulababy Mon 17-Jun-13 20:56:14

HongkongDreamer - because he was send the xxx text to the OP, his partner?

MissStrawberry Mon 17-Jun-13 20:55:53

Is confronting different from having a go?

HongkongDreamer Mon 17-Jun-13 20:53:32

Y would he put xxx then?

stella10 Mon 17-Jun-13 20:46:27

Ok update and it wasn't his fault at all my phone had added a part of an old tx into a new one including part about a back door (to do with a car)!! Not anal ha ha and so he'd just replied. Back door? Xxx coz he didn't know what I was on about! Oops glad I didn't have a go at him just shows bloody phones eh?

Coconutty Mon 17-Jun-13 20:19:27

Yeah, anal.

Sarahplane Mon 17-Jun-13 20:17:34

My old phone went wrong and I kept receiving the same really old messages again and again.

toiletbrush Mon 17-Jun-13 20:12:11

absent I'm really glad you mentioned that about Samsung galaxy. I found myself in hot water last week when a very old text message that I sent to my ex, re-sent at the beginning of the current message I sent him (if that makes sense?).

Sorry for the hijack op.

MissStrawberry Mon 17-Jun-13 19:23:58

If you don't think you love him, why are you still with him?

Is your gut telling you he is cheating because if you love and trust your partner then I feel you wouldn't be thinking the worst.

BriansBrain Mon 17-Jun-13 19:22:47

Oh dear, it doesn't look good.

Can you get hold of his phone at all?

moleavenger Mon 17-Jun-13 19:14:29

Hold up hold up... whoever said "pack his bags" - that's a bit hasty!

For a start, I have experienced old messages coming through like that. Like the above poster said, is there a context over the last few months or since he's had that phone or sim card that you can remember he might have asked that of you?

Most fundamentally, are there other reasons to think he's cheating? If so then that's a massive sign. Always trust your gut.

Thirdly, I assumed he was sexting with someone and trying to move the conversation on to anal sex

Ahhhcrap Mon 17-Jun-13 19:08:51

A similar thing happened on here with a different OP.

Hope you get it sorted

ImperialBlether Mon 17-Jun-13 18:36:28

The first thing is, how do you know he and his friends put kisses on their texts to each other? Because he told you? Really, how likely is it that non-metrosexual men put kisses on their texts to each other?

I think he'll be home at the normal time tonight - he won't risk you wondering too much.

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