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How do i get over being selfish and control freakish and wanting things done MY WAY?

(27 Posts)
juicychops Sat 15-Jun-13 21:46:58

me and bf have been together a long time yet still dont live together.

he recently lost his job and so has been spending a lot of time at mine. It used to be 4-5 evenings per week when he had a job, but now he's been at mine all day and all night during the week and then most of the weekend too as his kids have not wanted to see him much the last few weeks as they have wanted to spend their weekends with their friends.

I feel completely suffocated. I have tried to explain to him i need my own space and like my own company and need the odd evening to myself cos otherwise it gets too much being around people all the time.

because ive lived on my own with ds for so long im in the habit of being very particular about everything. i want things done in certain ways.

over the last 6 weeks since he lost his job bf has been doing my head in with his habits and the way HE does things. if i make a mess with something its ok if i dont tidy it up straight away, but if bf makes a mess it sets me on edge and i cant relax. His washing up isnt up to my standard, he leaves tea towels around the house, he doesn't put his clothes where i would like him to put them, he isn't organized, he moves my stuff around after he's used it etc

i know these are all normal things that most couples have to deal with so i know he's not really doing anything wrong, but where im so set in my ways its hard to ignore all this stuff. i feel like my space has been invaded. But if we are going to think about living together in the near future i need to get over this stuff.

Im alone tonight thank GOD as ive really needed a night to myself, but i do miss him a bit, although im enjoying the place to myself.

any ideas how i can stop this irrational stress?

amazingmumof6 Sun 16-Jun-13 05:17:43

marking place as a recovering perfectionist

Numberlock Sun 16-Jun-13 06:47:12

It saddens me what some women are prepared to put up with. You have to ask yourself why you put up with this OP.

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