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The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Posters, Lurkers, Old Or New, Come Take A Seat, This Bus Is For YOU!(1000 Posts)
Hello, I'm Mouse
A huge big welcome to the Brave Babes threads.
We're a varied group of posters, on this wonderfully supportive, non judgemental, gigantic Bus, and we are all heading in the same direction - towards Sobriety.
Some of us don't touch a drop of alcohol, some of us do. Some of us drink too much, openly admit it and are desperate to stop and some of us are trying to manage controlled drinking.
No matter what we're doing, we're just trying to do it One Day At A Time.
What ever you need, what ever your habit, chances are that there'll be another poster who is just like you or has been where you are now, already here, waiting to talk or just listen
Yes, some of us have been here for a longer time than others, some of us for just a few days but that's what makes this Bus so great imo, the variety of knowledge and understanding
This Bus has been whizzing along various roads now for almost four years thanks to the very desperate cry for help from THIS THREAD BY JWN
And if you'd like to read some of the other threads, maybe how we got to where we are today, then you can follow them back using the links RIGHT HERE
Hope to see you soon
Just wondered if any one here has experience of a partner encouraging drinking? More than enabling....i mean I posted a while back about a nasty row after drinking and then I didn't drink for almost two weeks which was really lifting the haze of my mind but then dp started suggesting buying wine always making sure there was some even wen I didn't ask which was out of character also we had more difficult patches wen I v nearly left again and I worry if he is trying to keep me dependent on alcohol so as he can take the children if things do go pear shaped! Alarm bells started ringing wen he started coming home with two bottles wine in hand! Very unlike him but so hard to know if I'm over thinking this. I also can't say don't buy wine I have alcohol issues as I don't talk about that! And obviously all good intentions of not drinking go out the window wen presented with such gifts:-/
Okay, I'm worried that I won't remember to get this up in time in the morning so here is the new thread for when this one is full.
Please stay here until this is full.
Thanks lovely Babes xxx
NEW THREAD FOR WHEN THIS ONE IS FULL
Night all, sleep well xxx
Stella - your post worries me. Are you in an abusive relationship in your opinion? Do you think that your DP controls you?
If you are worried about him 'feeding' you booze then the simple answer is to not drink, make up any excuse, you feel sick, a bug is going round at school that the kids could have passed on..... are you married? Sorry if I missed that...
The house - your name or his or joint?
The bills - your name, his or joint?
Do you work? Do you have any money of your own? Do you have somewhere that you could go? I mean tonight if you had to?
Are you okay? xxx
Oh yes I'm fine its just seemed v odd to me that if he did notice my drinking before he has really encouraged me to go back to it. Although I will say it was the big row we had which was in part caused by my drinking that made me stop for that time. Now it has creeped up again maybe I should try stopping again just to see if he encourages it again. House is rented both names bills in both but paid by him I an a sahm not a pain like predictive text suggests!!
Wouldn't say he is that controlling in general but does not want us to split up and I have at times really wanted to. I will admit that my drinking has at times been irresponsible But if he thought that then why buy more and more alcohol?
Stella - I have to go to bed to look after Nemo but, know that I have walked in your shoes, more than once. You need to think about what YOU want and work towards that.
Night sweets, stay safe please xxx
Be back tomorrow Brave Babes xxx
He's trying to control you. I know. Sorry I can't stay but I know. I'll PM you tomorrow and we can talk in more detail if that's okay?
STAY SAFE! xxx
Hey babes. It is late here and I am still not finished this thing.
Will have to pull an all-nighter to get it done but..
Resorting to some of my old tactics to keep going but aware they dont work as well at my age.
Ma bloody well done love. I wish I had been there to cheer you on. I am so amazingly chuffed that Richard was though!
Thurso oh my lovely mate how I long to do a coastal walk with you one day!
Stella I havent got Mouse's history but I would be asking him seriously what form of support he thought the bottles of wine were taking? How are you supporting me? What has this to do with me? How are you being a good partner to me? (The recurring word in this is ME and asking him to consider things from your perspective)
right, 5 modules down one to go. I might be here at 3am..
Thanks for the distraction lovely mates
Morning babes! Feeling quite bongy here this morning despite being awake since 5.30 (for no good reason).
Thurso - your midnight walk sounds amazing. Bloody well done. All these audacious sporting feats are making me want to sign up to something similarly audacious. Will try to talk myself out of it.
Stella - I suspect Mouse is right, it does sound that your drinking 'suits' him in some way. Maybe it's the potential custody thing, maybe he just feels 'bigger' and ' better' than you when you're pissed, maybe he knows that if your brain clears you'll start questioning the relationship. If I was you I'd def be tempted to stop again and see what happens...
Isinde - hope you didn't have to stay up too much later!
Welcome stella lots of support on here if you decide to stop drinking again. Don't know your situation fully but my NSDH is a control freak and I find it easier to stand up for what I want and not be controlled by him when not drinking. Hope your DPs motives for buying so much wine are innocent.
Have to go out in a mo so read back properly later.
Managed day 1 but it was so hard.
Glad I resisted the ww now though.
Thurso Amazing well done to you. So many of you are making me feel a couch potato. Will have to get fit but have to kick the booze into touch first.
Isinde Hope you finished that thing and still managed to get some sleep my friend.
Catch you later babesxx
Morning babes, another alcohol free weekend Day 12 for me now.
Edinbugger, I was also up at 5.30 this morning, and just like you for no apparent reason, I just woke and decided to get up.
obrigada fantastic, so chuffed for you. mr and * pink*
You guys ok? and PURPLE we need you, come back!! Xxxxx
Hi mouse please when you have time can you pm me, I cant seem to msg you and would really like a little insight into a few things.....thanks!
thurso your walk sound fabulous
indie hope you got the work done and you were with me in spirit on the run, as were all the babes.
Stella another one here with a controlling dh.make sure you have an escape plan or start making one
Thank you all so much for the welcome, espec Lonnika and Rural and Thuros but also anyone else who I have missed off. ALL of your are helping me
I have achieved day one, yesterday I had two glasses of wine to finish off what was in the house. Now I am in bed with a book and so will def not be rushing out to the corner shop!
I feel well but at the bottom of a mountain that needs to be climbed. The weekend will be the biggest challenge for me but I am fed up wasting my weekend with a hangover, also it seems so rude to do that to my family when I hold it together pretty well during the week booze wise for work days (if that makes sense)
Thank you all again. Has anyone else seen the AIBU thread about the best parts of not drinking? Very inspiring reading!
You all have to fill up this thread.
mouse is gonna kill you if you don't.....
Oh dear, am I talking to myself and everyone else has driven off to the new thread?!
I'm here pink and well done on day 1.
Everyone should be still on this thread until it fills up or we get shouted at, but people get all excited by a new thread and rush off to bag the best seats.
Hi all. Been away for a bit, busy in rl and have not caught up with the bus properly. But I did want to just say a massive well done to ma, Mouse and Thurso for your run, walk, hobbles. Ma your mum is a star too and I'm so pleased Richard was there to cheer you on. How different this day could have been for him.
Stella I definitely think it's a good idea to have a good break from wine again. Can you tell him not to get you any because you don't want the empty calories, or want to detox a bit for health reasons, or something? Then see if he still brings wine into the house. If he does you can just tip it down the sink in front of him.
Lonnika stick with it. This, too, shall pass x
Oh, also, I spotted Bafana on another thread, so big wave to you if you're lurking
pink where is the thread you were talking about re not drinking, I'm keen to read it, anyone what does NSDP MEAN? X x x
My legs ache much more today, than they did yesterday.
Time for beddy-byes.
See you on the new thread, lovelies
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