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DH kicked me, wtaf do I do now?

(60 Posts)
TotallyKerplunked Thu 23-May-13 23:00:07

DH kicked me while I was carrying DS, I fell and dropped DS (he is fine but I'm pretty sure my ankle is broken as I've broken it before).

DH flipped because I went to the shop while he and DS were napping and when I came back and found them both awake I said please don't sulk. t's not been great for a while but I would never think he would do that, he adores DS and I wouldn't believe he could do something so stupid that could have really hurt him.

I don't know what to do, I've told DH to leave and he has gone to his parents but he didn't take any of his stuff so I can only assume he will want to come back tomorrow. I haven't contacted the police, I don't want to jeopardise his job and as I'm a SAHM I rely on his income.

Can men change after a violent outburst? Is there any coming back from this? We have been together 7 years and its the first time he has even shouted at me let alone been violent.

You really must report this to the Police OP, you may require their protection if you decide not to continue contact with your husband (I will not say DH as he is not worthy of the dear part). You cannot predict how he will react.

You have a record of your injuries with the hospital already which is great.

Having disclosed what happened to the medical staff you may find that they (under child protection laws) make a report to social services, because the domestic violence occurred whilst your son was present. It is good practice to inform you that this will happen, but they do not have to.

If social services contact you, the fact that you have kicked him out will mean that they finish their investigations quite quickly, but if you allow him back that might not be the case.

You deserve not to be abused, your son deserves not to watch you being abused or to be caught in the firing line.

crazyhead Fri 24-May-13 21:37:51

I think that if this was happening to someone else and you weren't in this situation personally, you'd see this man as dangerous scum.

It is all very well him crying and telling his parents - have you ever violently attacked someone physically more vulnerable than you in your life because you were a bit grumpy? An elderly woman or a child, say? I suspect that you haven't and never would and would not have it in you to do such an awful thing. Most people don't.

The fact is, this man does have in it him. Tell the police and get shot of him - I bet that's what you'd tell a friend to do, so treat yourself equally well.

Hope op is getting her leg seen to x

BoulevardOfBrokenSleep Fri 24-May-13 22:52:12

Totally, can I ask you two things please?

1) Why did you say 'please don't sulk'? I'm not sure what he would be sulking about - being left with DS? You leaving the house without permission? Does he often sulk?

2) Have you seen this thread - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/698029-Right-listen-up-everybody It's old now but still relevant, not sure how long you've been around these parts...

clam Fri 24-May-13 23:45:22

So, what are you planning on telling all the real-life people who are going to ask how you damaged your ankle?
Are you in plaster/an air boot/bandaging?

ThatVikRinA22 Fri 24-May-13 23:52:39

chipped bone is actually classed as quite serious - and if its domestic related the police will be duty bound to act. That does not mean it will go to court - if you refuse to make a complaint then the CPS will most likely kick it out anyway - but they would still need to speak to your partner to get an account and if it were me attending i would want a statement even if its a non complaint statement to put to the CPS.....

but you absolutely should and need to report this. Dont play this down.
what if your baby had been hurt?
the first time is rarely the last time op. please do speak to police - this was his doing, not yours. Let the police bear the weight of dealing with him - let them take it out of your hands.

pegwin Sat 25-May-13 00:17:59

op glad you got treatment. hope it hurts a bit less now.
also glad things are a bit more relaxed without him there.

i know this must be really tough and overwhelming.

i am sure you will work out how to deal.with it come time.

however it may be a good idea to go.to police not just because dh deserves it but also because the more record you have of this behaviour the more likely you are to get legal aid etc. which you may need.

legal aid, CSA and what happens to the house, assuming you have one, can all depend on this. as a Sahm you may need this to protect your rights and those of ds.

AllegraLilac Sat 25-May-13 01:42:03

You have to leave this man op. it happened to me, he'll beat you black and blue and emotionally scar both you and your son.

Don't think 'not my husband'. Your husband has just proved he will kick his wife. The crying is nothing other than fear of emotional or legal punishment. Not regret or apology.

Lweji Sat 25-May-13 01:47:51

ExH did admit to his parents and apologised.
He still went on to attack me again and make death threats to me and my mother.

This kick was a vicious attack on you that could also have seriously injured your dc.

For both your sakes do not take him back and report it to the police.

Theyoniwayisnorthwards Sat 25-May-13 01:58:25

Hope you are alright OP and I am so sorry this has happened to you.

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