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Job offer away from MM

(30 Posts)
youaretheweakestlink Thu 23-May-13 20:08:23

I have had an affair with a MM at work - I don't need anybody to tell me what a mistake this was. I'm deeply deeply sorry and full of remorse - trust me, I am. Last week I got offered a new job over 100 miles away from my life (I am single, but my friends and family are here). I know I should take it and make the break from MM but him aside, I have been there over 10 years and love my job/colleagues etc. Are these reasons enough to stay? Should I make the clean break and leave my job since my actions have left me no choice? Haven't I sacrificed enough for this guy - i.e. my entire moral core?

I know I don't deserve your help, but would be extremely thankful for any advice.

youaretheweakestlink Thu 23-May-13 22:05:55

Thank you very much for the replies - great advice and much food for thought.

AF - thanks for the straight talking. It is over for sure but i'd be lying if I said I didn't still have feelings for him though this doesn't mean I will EVER go back there - I am adamant. It is hard not to engage him as I see him everyday. The one advantage of the job would be a fresh start and a clean break from him.

Yes Snazzy, I applied for the reasons you say but didn't think i'd get an interview, never mind the job, in a million years.

Dontmind, it IS a good opportunity I just feel like i'd be giving up a whole lot and potentially for the wrong reasons (to get away from MM is my sole reason) but you are right, it could be just what the doc ordered life-wise.

AThing - MM (and me) have already ruined the job I love since I dread going into work and have lost a lot of my enthusiasm/energy for it since the affair began. I was hoping I could get it back.

Kern - Great for you - glad it all worked out!

Hissy - thanks for the tough love. smile

AnyFucker Thu 23-May-13 22:10:12

Bollocks, love. If you have to speak to him about professional matters that is one thing. To still be engaging with him emotionally and giving him the opportunity to make it clear he'd still like to be continuing your affair is quite another.

The best move you could make is to stop lying and making excuses for yourself

Nobody has your arm up your back (unless he is blackmailing you professionally) to make you listen to his attempts to stay in your knickers

youaretheweakestlink Thu 23-May-13 22:17:30

AF, it is incredibly difficult but I catch your drift. To be clear, I'm not sat there swooning with love hearts instead of eyeballs and have tried very hard to maintain professional distance but he always brings it back round to relationship talk.

AnyFucker Thu 23-May-13 22:19:47

You don't have to engage with him when he tries it

Get up and walk away, switch off your phone, close down the laptop

Excuses

Report him if he is harassing you (or at least threaten it...he will run like the wind)

Bogeyface Fri 24-May-13 00:37:23

AF is right. If he even sniffs a harassement case he will leg it as the last thing he will want is his wife asking why he has been suspended!

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