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Stepson and new baby

(30 Posts)
AuntyVirus Wed 22-May-13 21:44:13

Hi I have already posted this in legal, I'm just wanting a bit more advice/ support please .

Last week my ss girlfriend gave birth to his first child but her second . He lives with girlfriend and her daughter who calls ss dad.
Ss has told me and his dad today that his girlfriend has no intensions of putting his name on baby's birth certificate. He has known this for a few months but was hoping she would change her mind , this is not the case she is still sticking to her decision .
As you can imagine ss is distraught at her choice and does not know what to do.
I tried to call his girlfriend yesterday just to see how she was and how baby was but she never answered my call which was unusual as we usually have a good relationship .
I don't know what to do should I try calling her again to see if she ok , I don't want to pester her as I know she more than likely just can't be bothered with visitors . Or do I leave it and wait for her to contact us which I don't think will happen .

AuntyVirus Tue 28-May-13 02:27:44

Hi sorry to keep bumping my own post but there have been a few more issues with girlfriend and I think I just need to vent.
Dss has gone back to living with his girlfriend , although he was briefly back at our home Saturday . Girlfriend has invited dp and myself up to visit baby several times to only then be out when we arrived and twice sending dss to the door to say she had changed her mind . I am struggling with the way she is doing this to us , why invite us to then change her mind .
My dp wants to ask dss if its ok if we visit tomorrow night, I however do not want him to , as much as I really would love to see our grandson . I want to be able to visit him because we are wanted there not because we have caught them off guard and they have no excuse or time to go out .
I feel that this is the beginning of the end of our short relationship with our grandson . Once again I am heartbroken at this shit situation .

KalevalaForMePlease Tue 28-May-13 03:10:37

Hi Aunty, I am so sorry you are going thought this at what should be a happy and exciting time for you all. It all sounds like a terrible situation. thanks

AuntyVirus Tue 28-May-13 04:30:12

Thankyou for replying . It is a horrible situation to be in I want to be excited , to be able to go and visit grandson and show him off to the rest of our family and friends but it sadly looks as though we won't get chance .

pajamapants1 Tue 28-May-13 18:52:18

Maybe you could suggest your dss talks to the healthvisitor when she goes to check on gf and baby and see if she will speak to her about what is going. My dh used to just ask for a quiet word if he was concerned about anything.
Hope things get better for you all.

Springdiva Tue 28-May-13 19:03:09

I think I would encourage my son to run a mile tbh - no doubt this view will receive a torrent of criticism.
You could be setting yourselves up for years of upset, and, possibly, wouldn't be doing DGC favours if it causes stress and anger in its DM.
Also would do paternity check. Sadly it looks as if she believes her mother's lifestyle is the way to go.

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