Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

What do you do with gifts your ex gave you?

(35 Posts)
superstarheartbreaker Sat 18-May-13 08:25:47

These gifts were greatly apprechiated at the time but now feel false and insincere. Also I can't really bear to look at them. It is so tempting to send them back but that is just childish isn't it? Has anyone ever sent gifts back? It's a bit of a slap in the face isn't ir? which is secretly what I want!

Lweji Mon 20-May-13 10:19:59

I still wear some nice earings xH gave me. Or was it MIL? I forget. blush

I have kept the wedding and engagement rings. Not sure what to do with them yet. Maybe melt to make another jewel.

I have made sure to give ex his valuables that he had left at home.
All considered, I should have kept them, as he took money from joint accounts that he shouldn't.

ladyjadie Mon 20-May-13 08:28:33

Do you think you're wanting to send the stuff back just to get a response from him? If so, don't bother, is it just the iPod and soppy card?

Rip the card up and with every rip think of something shit he did to you

Either eBay the iPod or give it to someone less fortunate, you'd make their day and feel good for it!

RiotsNotDiets Sat 18-May-13 21:44:23

Don't send them back! It's not going to make you feel any better, sell the stuff that's worth anything and buy yourself an ipad.

superstarheartbreaker Sat 18-May-13 21:41:16

I don't know why, but I am soooooo tempted to send them back. It is childish though isn't it? It's because I'm still hurting. Gah!

3mum Sat 18-May-13 21:05:54

Not a lot to show for 30 years together - I should have noticed that before now. He wasn't hard up either, he just never thought I was worth buying nice presents for.

I took off my wedding and engagement rings and promptly lost them - that was over a year ago so no chance of finding them now. Went through the photograph albums and took out every single picture of me ever and burnt them. (I left him the albums though I don't suppose he ever looks at them). Also burnt my wedding dress which I had kept meaning to give it to my daughter one day - I couldn't wish on her a dress from a failed marriage. My view was that since the marriage had been such a waste of time there was absolutely point keeping any record of it. Still feel like that now.

Bumpotato Sat 18-May-13 18:44:07

When I split with my ex it felt quite good getting rid of the stuff he'd given me, joint stuff and the stuff he left behind (which I sold).

I gave a diamond pendant that was too valuable to chuck out to a then good friend who turned arsehole on me a few years later. I've since had daughters and wish I'd kept the pendant to give to one of them.

KingRollo Sat 18-May-13 18:40:12

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Startail Sat 18-May-13 18:35:45

DSIS always kept her big silly stuffed dog, said it was far better to cuddle than the wet twit who gave it her.

A1980 Sat 18-May-13 18:32:35

I keep everything.

But I have my last bf some.pretty decent stuff but I guess I can't ask for it back.

mrsmarples Sat 18-May-13 18:21:02

Charity shops, skips, incinerator, boot sale and ebay.

I left my wedding ring to ex twunt in my will.

Cash Converters

GoingUpInTheWorld Sat 18-May-13 16:42:07

An ex just sent me a text one day saying we werent right for each other. No explanation no nothing. Wouldnt answer his phone or anything.

I did eventually get a response, but it was the usual shit of its me not you etc.

However a couple of months earlier he had bought me an original tiffany and co necklace and bracelet set for my birthday.

I tried to sell it when he dumped me but was told they come with a certificate and if i wanted any real value for it, it was best sold with the certificate.

So i texted the ex asking for the original certificate as i wanted to sell it.

He texted back saying he threw the certificate away when having a clear out. I knew that was rubbish, but it made me smile when i thought of how he might be thinking i had a bloody cheek!

I sold it on ebay for £40

RiotsNotDiets Sat 18-May-13 16:38:21

Does anyone know if you can sell wedding rings that are engraved? (I'm guessing I'd only be able to sell them to be melted and made into something else?

Scruffey Sat 18-May-13 16:35:35

Miranda I think that the giving back of engagement rings/proceeds morally applies only when the marriage doesn't actually happen.

Scruffey Sat 18-May-13 16:33:43

Charity shop for me (never had anything of value given to me)

However if valuable, sell on eBay or take to jewellery shop to be sold.

cherrybakewall Sat 18-May-13 16:30:10

Jewellery given by exH I have left to our DS in my will. I still wear earrings he bought me that I really like. Engagement ring from ex fiance (before exH) left in will to DSD because she likes it. I offered it back to him when we split but he said "what would I do with it?" so I kept it.

MirandaWest Sat 18-May-13 14:49:12

I will get round to selling my engagement ring but when I do should I give XH half of the value? Am undecided (haven't discussed this with him of course)

Playerpleeease Sat 18-May-13 14:38:03

I throw them, about ten minutes after we've split usually grin I just can't bear them to be around me even if I really like/need/want them. I threw hunter wellies, microwave hmm, necklace, purse, books, iPod nano, earrings away in front of XP as he was packing his bags to leave, he'd only given them to me a week previously. Plus new stuff he'd brought to decorate the house, pillows, candles bedding etc. He was shock he tried to take some of the expensive stuff.......but, I wrecked them so he couldn't blush

Might not of been my finest hour but it felt good!

I couldn't keep anything, makes me feel weird when people do.

KittensandKids Sat 18-May-13 14:27:45

I lost my wedding ring, took it off and put it in my purse and lost it, I threw out everything else, wedding presents etc, gave them to freecycle.

Lavenderhoney Sat 18-May-13 14:20:22

I still have gifts I was given. The were some from many years ago, long before dh and he doesn't really know. I don't say " ooh, think I will wear the Gucci watch x gave me" I just have them.

If I really hated them I would have sold them. Still an option.

My bf just before dh was very generous and occasionally sent me jewellery from tiffanys even though we spilt due to his working abroad ( and being a a workaholic ) until I asked him to stop as I had met someone. I think I was his back upsmile he didnt want them back, so I said I would keep them for a rainy day.

ChubbyKitty Sat 18-May-13 13:34:35

I got a GameCube and a DS Lite. I kept them until I move house and we didn't need duplicates. Then I sold them.

Jewellery was always cheap crap so I chucked it, and cuddly toys got given to charity.

ladyjadie Sat 18-May-13 12:55:57

Bin/burn (safely)

Polyethyl Sat 18-May-13 10:31:07

I'm keeping the jewellery in case my daughter wants it.

(She's the offspring of my happy marriage not the ghastly ex who it turned out was only with me for the better mortgage rates he could get with my help.)

Lovingfreedom Sat 18-May-13 09:57:35

I've made a point of throwing away all presents from my ex and his family....unless it's something I like wink

StuffezLaYoni Sat 18-May-13 08:45:56

*get

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now