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When you are in it you don't see it as abusive do you?

(79 Posts)
Orangeandpineapple Wed 15-May-13 15:54:59

I have changed my name.
I posted my dilemma before with regards to my marriage of 27 years. Husband is controlling, negative, moody and just miserable. We usually have a week or so of him being ok. Then a small drama will result in him swearing and slamming about.
When he gets in a real mood he throws things, calls me names etc. (has called me c word) or refuses to talk to me and calls me idiot)
3 grown up children only youngest at home.
Finances controlled solely by him. I am sahm. No joint account.

Everyone of your replies to my situation said ltb and that I was being abused. I couldn't see it. Even now I think is it really that bad? It's not bad all the time. But sometimes it makes me cry and depressed. Probably at least twice a month something happens which causes upset.

My family are holding their breath waiting for me to leave him. But I start making excuses as to why I am still here. I feel sorry or him.

Does anyone else feel the same. What Did you do?

ElectricSheep Mon 20-May-13 21:34:24

Did your DD actually mean she did know it was on the cards? Or could your DDs have been discussing it and perhaps said that they thought that was what you should do?

Orangeandpineapple Mon 20-May-13 23:28:56

DD are 18, 21 and 24.

The youngest was discussing with the eldest. I think she was just letting me know that they are expecting it to happen and although it will be strange for them they will be ok.
Yes I have tried to shield them but they are not babies.
They have no respect for him but like me they feel sorry for him.
They have lived with his moods. Name calling etc.

ElectricSheep Mon 20-May-13 23:34:01

They will be fantastic support for you I'm sure O&P.

Have you decided what you are going to do yet? Not saying you should have obviously, just wondered if you felt any clearer yet?

Lweji Tue 21-May-13 00:46:51

Yes, we tend to feel sorry for them.

They don't seem to feel sorry for us, though. sad

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